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8 things you must pack

2007-06-22 17:23

1. A nurse's outfit:
Because many people become sick with flu and need care. If you're going to be a scab, at least dress the part. Available at: your local branch of Adult World.

2. Woolen stockings:
By wearing them you'll smell more attractive to local livestock. Available at: Woolworths. Bah ha ha!

3. A waitering outfit:
In case your production is a failure. Available at: your drama school costumes department

4. A beanie:
For use in keeping your head together. Terms and conditions apply. Available from: P.E.P. Outfitters

5. Dagga:
Because you don’t want to pay tourist rip-off prices. Available from: Now, that would be telling!

6. An origami specialist:
They'll have a use for all those fliers. Available from: Japan.

7. WAP cellphone with GPS:
So you can access facebook and find your way home blind drunk at the same time. Available from R599 per month, for 24 months.

8. Lunch
Believe it or not.

- Jean Barker


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