Meat is murder

Channel24 Columns 143 comments

We monkey-people tend to believe whatever suits us, but sometimes whatever suits us is discarded like a senile parent in favour of whatever we happen to believe on that particular day.

• Don’t kill animals when I’m not hungry
• Murder rate decrease pisses off whites

Get the hell out of my way

Channel24 Columns 17 comments

Although the term would be accurate, I don’t like to think of myself as a criminal.

• PigSpotter: Outlaw or Saviour?
• Chris Moerdyk: Soon we'll all be Pig Spotters
• Cops gunning for PigSpotter

Now listen...

Channel24 Columns 19 comments

Here is the news, you impotent fools.

Rohypnol of the masses

Channel24 Columns 36 comments

Although it helps, humans don't need religion to be stupid.

Amor is from Mars, Joost is from Venus

Channel24 Columns 38 comments

Is Amor Vittone a carpet-munching scissor sister at one with the Isle of Lesbos? Is Joost van der Westhuizen a shirt-lifting arse-bandit from Planet Gaymo?

• Joost and Amor: The Chronicles
• COLUMN: Sue me, Amor

Boobs or GTFO

Channel24 Columns 24 comments

If your parents ever told you "it’s not what you look like, it’s what you have inside that matters", you’re now probably old enough to have realised that you were raised by pathological liars.

Anti-social media

Channel24 Columns 27 comments

It’s not entirely true to say I met my girlfriend through social media, but it definitely helped.

The organic delusion

Channel24 Columns 44 comments

Journalists don’t usually slate other journalists in publication, especially if they work for the same media group. Like most other professionals, we think it far more civilised to stab peers and colleagues in the back with underhanded comments on Twitter – our communal office kitchen in cyberspace.

• The Seven Most Dangerous Myths about "Organic" Farming
• 6 good reasons to go organic

Smokers suck

Channel24 Columns 37 comments

People, those who still talk to me, are often surprised - and sometimes annoyed - when I tell them I don’t drink, which usually happens just after they’ve bought me three tequilas and a beer chaser.

UFOs are idiot fodder

Channel24 Columns 23 comments

Damn, we just can’t get enough news about aliens, can we?

Charity ends at home

Channel24 Columns 51 comments

Too many years ago, when websites still had grey backgrounds, I wrote a magazine feature about alien vegetation, which was not nearly as boring as it sounds.

• COLUMN: It's easy to become xenophobic
• Xenophobia on News24

Mel Gibson: what a beaver

Channel24 Columns 58 comments

Perhaps whatever god Mel Gibson believes in has a sense of humour. In what will probably be his last movie for a long, long time, he stars opposite Hollywood’s most unlikely housewife, Jodie Foster, as a husband and father trying to save his family through his relationship with a hand puppet.

• Mel Gibson exposed as a racist, sexist fool
• Mel Gibson: 24 Facts

Defending white boy music

Channel24 Columns 90 comments

Metal is the white hip-hop. Both are defiant, proudly working class (or whatever polite term for poor-ass nobodies you prefer) and more concerned with style, culture and fashion than the actual music.