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Sexy celeb "sicknesses"

2010-04-09 12:13
I feigned interest while watching the whole drawn-out Tiger Woods fiasco.

In case you missed it Woods - the best golfer in the world -  seemed to get his balls near holes in both sporting and "sporting" terms, while married to a hot Swedish Helga, who he left looking after little ones at home. If you missed this fandango, I am amazed you can work a computer and have made it to this particular website. Pat yourself on the back (if you can find it).

Tiger cited cited his alleged "sex addiction" to justify cheating repeatedly on his wife while tampering with the upbringing of his children - yes, he found some medical opinion that decreed he was addicted to sex. It is now a sickness to want some nookie. As if all of us healthy people must continually stave off sex, whip our libido down, turn off the morning-glory, and not partake in a flirtatious bar game leading to a horizontal hokey-pokey.

What crap! We’re human for God's sake. We like sex. In fact, most men in the world want more sex. I would imagine women do too (but I won’t speak on behalf of the shoe-purchasing portion of the population). We have sex organs, quite well-suited to the task of shagging, and we get horny. So physically and mentally it's a awesome relief to get some.

But (for us non-Greek-god-bodied folk), we've got to put quite a bit of work in to get laid.

Now imagine you are famous. Imagine you're rich and pretty damn good looking, and every room you walk into is full of people who want to shag you before you’ve even bothered to pretend to learn their name. In my head that's paradise - I would partake busily until wear-and-tear forced me to take a break.

However, sometimes it is not wise to go around banging everything that moves prettily. Sometimes we have wives, husbands, girlfriends and boyfriends. Sometimes we are in situations where sex is not appropriate, like funerals, or children’s birthday parties. And do you know what? Most of us don't do it at these times. In some instances we slip up – I would imagine that a few of us have done it once – and regret it! Sometimes we screw it up and are wrong. And many of us are big enough to admit it.

But not Tiger. He has sex "addiction".

If ever I have heard of a solely-celebrity problem, this is it. This showbiz madness makes Bluebell-Madonna a real name and sex addiction a medical problem. To be honest, the language spoken by the Na'vi people in Avatar makes more sense to me than this yarn Tiger is spinning.

In the same manner that Hollywood celebrities never get normal jail sentences because of their name, people believe the utter trollop dribbling out from 'twixt their whitened teeth. Would you buy this rubbish from your husband or wife?

Didn't think so.

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