Girl moaning about her constantly aching muscles: "Inside of me there's a sixty year old man."
Friend of moaner: "That's what she said!"

Impatient dude in the bathroom queue: "No reading in the toilets!"
Man in toilet: "Ah, but you didn't say anything about writing."

Young woman to older man: "Could you please help me pump my mattress?"
Older man: "I'll pomp anything you want."

Member of acapella group D7: "Thank you, Rob van Vuuren, for bringing all of us out of the closet at the same time."

Person looking for a very eye catching floating object on the river: "But where is the penis?"

Little girl to her mommy: "He was standing in his jockey and he was right there."

Woman by the river: "I'm so glad my boobs float."

All-nighter girl at the breakfast table: "…so this chick stole his sweat-drenched T-shirt from backstage." (to boyfriend) "Do you find that kind of thing arousing?"

Seen on a T-shirt worn by a ten year-old: "I'm the hotter friend."

Media dude immediately prior to very quiet moment: "Rod Stewart's voice sounds what anal sex feels like."

Festino commenting on the boiled Vienna accompanying breakfast: "Jou hondpiel lyk baie mooi vanoggend."

Some dude about to rock: "...there was also a gospel-themed tribute band – AD/BC".

Punk social legend: "It's not rape if you yell SURPRISE!"

Hungover dude 1: "I'm a b-cup"
Hungover dude 2: "Aren’t you a f*ck-up?"

Still (relatively) sober oke in car: "Because you came too late, I kept trying to do things that would make you arrive. Like braid my hair. And I wrote about how to use newspaper without cutting your ass."

Old Rocker 1: "John is a soliloquay for...."
Old Rocker 2: "A soliloquay?"
Old Rocker 1: "I dunno I saw it in a book." 
Old Rocker 2: "He’s a soliloquay?"

Woman at camp to friend arriving at camp: "Hey! Have you dumped Dave?"
Friend: "Who's Dave?"

Written on passed-out guitarist of popular rock band: "I am not George." (his lead singer).