Rihanna struggling with feelings

Los Angeles - Rihanna finds it hard to hide the fact she still loves Chris Brown.

RiRi met up with her former boyfriend, who she split from in February 2009 after he assaulted her, while holidaying in St Tropez, France, recently and says it was "awkward" because she still has feelings for him.

Rihanna was qouted saying: "We went to a mutual friend's party on a yacht. It's awkward because I still love him. My stomach drops and I have to maintain this poker face and not let it get to the outer part of me.

"I have to maintain that and suppress it and interpret that and understand that is not going to go away.That is peaceful. When you don't understand those feelings you can make a lot of mistakes."

'I had to forgive'

Despite still having feelings for Chris, who was placed under an restraining order to stay away from her, the singer insists they are nothing more than "very, very close friends".

In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, she admitted: "We have maintained a very close friendship ever since the restraining order was dropped ... We're very, very close friends."

And the brunette beauty also revealed she was only able to move on from Chris when she "forgave" him for assaulting her and realised she didn't hate him.

"I thought I hated Chris and I realised it was love that was tarnished. It looked like hate because it was ugly, it was angry, it was inflamed, it was tainted and I realised that what it was. I had to forgive him because I cared about him still. And the minute I let go of that, I started living again," Rihanna said.