The Joostgate video: watch it here

All just Rumours?
Since you can pretty much buy porn at a corner cafe, we were more impressed by the girl’s choice of music. Whether on purpose or not, Fleetwood Mac’s multi-million-selling album Rumours was the soundtrack she selected for the encounter. The lyrics are significantly more entertaining than the dialogue, and oddly appropriate.

The video is broken up into parts. Here is a blow-by-blow account of what you can expect to see and hear in the video clips.

WARNING: NO UNDER 18s

- In the boring intro you see and hear the Pink Thong Chick setting up the video camera. See that here

"I've been tossed around enough… Couldn't you just let me go down and do my stuff…"

- In scene two, Pink Thong Chick sets up the drugs and starts chatting with The Dude, but that's all Second Hand News, right?

"Players only love you when they're playing… Say... women... they will come and they will go when the rain washes you clean... you'll know…"

- Scene three: They snort, she adjusts the camera, they get up and he removes the mat on which they snorted. He loses his jeans, sits on the futon with the girl between his legs.

"Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow… Don't stop, till soon be here…"

- Scene four: Joost kisses ass.

"Baby I'd give you my world…Open up"

- Scene five: it starts heating up...

- Scene six: She digs in the bag for sex toys, while he plays with himself

- Scene seven: "Ek sal alles vir jou uitgooi"

"Sweet wonderful you…You make me happy with the things you do…"

- Scene eight: And the deed is done. She asks for toilet paper and tells him she's not charging him which means she's not a whore.

Read Chris McEvoy's column: Joost human?