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How to Speak Star Wars

With a little bit of knowledge about the Star Wars Universe - and some understanding of how to apply it - you can "speak Star Wars" with the confidence of someone who grew up watching the movies over and over again.

Here is a brief guide to help you speak Star Wars like a pro. First, you'll learn a pertinent fact about the Star Wars galaxy, then you'll see how it can be used in every day situations - and you'll never need to worry about looking like a Star Wars novice again!

Star Wars Knowledge:
Chewbacca the Wookiee, one of the most popular Star Wars characters, is always on the prowl for food, and he's motivated by his hunger. In Return of the Jedi, Chewbacca's food fanaticism leads them into a trap set by the tiny but aggressive hunters called Ewoks.
How and When to Use It:
Your date is eating like a pig, but using that common expression may come across as too harsh or insulting. Instead, turn to your date and say, "Great, Chewie - always thinking with your stomach!"

Star Wars Knowledge:
Han Solo is captain of the Millennium Falcon, a pirate spaceship that doesn't much impress Luke Skywalker in A New Hope. When Luke complains about the likely speed of the ship, Han boasts that it's so fast "it's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs."
How and When to Use It:
When a friend is boasting about how fast his or her car is, and implying that yours isn't good enough, turn your nose up and ask, "How fast can yours make the Kessel run?"
Alternatively, when your child whines that he or she is going to be late to school and you're not driving fast enough, roll up your sleeves and say, "We'll make this Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs!" That's usually enough to quiet them down.

Star Wars Knowledge:
When Luke Skywalker and Han Solo board the Death Star to find Princess Leia in A New Hope, they leave droids R2-D2 and C-3PO inside a control room, defenseless. The nervous C-3PO asks how he should defend himself against the deadly Stormtroopers, and Han's response is: "Lock the door ... and hope they don't have blasters."
How and When to Use It:
Your date invites you in at the end of the evening, but his parents aren't home. You're not sure if you should go, but he says, "My parents won't be back for a while." Your response: "We'd better lock the door, then - and hope they don't have blasters!"
Or, after getting in trouble, your child shuts himself in his room, sulking. First, knock assertively on the door, then add, "I'm coming in. You'd better hope I don't have a blaster."

Star Wars Knowledge:
Offering payment to Han Solo, a nearly broke Obi-Wan Kenobi says, "We can pay you two thousand now ... plus 15 when we reach Alderaan." Han's impressed and agrees to take the passengers to their destination.
How and When to Use It:
You owe a friend money, but you can't pay it all back. No need to get frazzled about your lack of funds. Very confidently, say, "I can pay you 10 now ... plus 15 when we reach Alderaan." Your friend's quizzical looks may give you enough time to make a quick getaway.
Or, when your child asks you for the 30th time this week to borrow some cash, just give him or her a tiny bit ... and promise the rest when you get to Alderaan. (Because making your kid clean his or her room never, ever works.)

Star Wars Knowledge:
In A New Hope, Darth Vader and Obi-Wan Kenobi clash with lightsabers, many years after their first duel (seen in Revenge of the Sith). The two enemies face each other, and Vader is the first to speak: "I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete."
How and When to Use It:
Nothing is more awkward than coming face-to-face with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. But you can make light of the situation, and prove that you are powerful and in control of your emotions by narrowing your eyes and saying, "We meet again at last! The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but a youngster - now I am an adult ... and better than this!" Then walk away. (Lightsaber fights not encouraged.)

Star Wars Knowledge:
When they are about to have a climactic lightsaber duel, Vader warns Luke Skywalker in Return of the Jedi, "You are unwise to lower your defenses."
How and When to Use It:
The evening is coming to a close. It's time for a good-night kiss. Just as he comes close to you, quote Darth Vader, but softly: "It is unwise to lower your defenses."
Alternatively, when trying to persuade your son or daughter that homework is important, instead of launching into a massive lecture, simply speak Darth Vader's line with confidence - and your child will get the message.

Star Wars Knowledge:
In The Phantom Menace, Yoda speaks these wise words: "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hatred. Hatred leads to suffering."
How and When to Use It:
Any philosophical discussion - from being dumped to being scared to go to school to worrying about taxes - can benefit from this timeless bit of wisdom.

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