Predicting the 2010 Oscars

We're having a bit of fun with this year's Oscar nominees before it all gets terribly serious on the big night. The Academy Awards will be announced in Beverly Hills on Sunday, 7 March.

BEST PICTURE
Avatar
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
A Serious Man
Up
Up in the Air

Who WILL win: Inglourious Basterds

Oh, come on. We're thinking out of the box here. This year's race is a crazy one – and not just because there are 10 nominees where there used to be just five. The top contenders are easy to call (just match against the Best Director nominees below) and the other five will be grateful just to be nominated. Basterds benefits from being star-studded, crowd-pleasing and has an Outstanding Cast SAG under its belt. Although the momentum is definitely behind the edge-of-your-seat Iraq war drama The Hurt Locker, it's such a tiny film compared to the rest of the field, especially its 'nemesis' Avatar, a movie that will have to settle for multiple wins in the technical categories - and that $2-billion profit. Shame.

BEST DIRECTOR
Kathryn Bigelow - The Hurt Locker
James Cameron - Avatar
Lee Daniels - Precious
Jason Reitman - Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino - Inglourious Basterds

Who WILL win: Kathryn Bigelow - The Hurt Locker

There's very little question about this now as Bigelow has raked up nearly every director's award this year. And the Academy would be churlish to deny this opportunity to finally, after more than 80 years, award it to a female director. James Cameron will no doubt be cheering his ex-wife from his seat as she collects her Oscar statue.

BEST ACTOR
Jeff Bridges - Crazy Heart
George Clooney - Up in the Air
Colin Firth - A Single Man
Morgan Freeman - Invictus
Jeremy Renner - The Hurt Locker

Who WILL win: Jeff Bridges - Crazy Heart

It's his time, after five nominations and spawning an entire sub-culture dedicated to his most famous character (The Dude from The Big Lebowski). His biggest competition will not, however, be coming from former winners Clooney and Freeman, but from Oscar newbies Colin Firth and Jeremy Renner. I did say it was a crazy Oscar year, didn't I?

BEST ACTRESS
Sandra Bullock - The Blind Side
Helen Mirren - The Last Station
Carey Mulligan - An Education
Gabourey Sidibe - Precious
Meryl Streep - Julie & Julia

Who WILL win: Meryl Streep - Julie & Julia

The heat is firmly with Sandra Bullock in the final lap, but this is Meryl Streep we are talking about here. She's only ever won two Oscars in her career, and the last one was 27 years ago for Sophie's Choice. Unacceptable. Everybody loves 'Our Sandy', but does she really deserve an Oscar for her first decent movie role?

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Matt Damon - Invictus
Woody Harrelson - The Messenger
Christopher Plummer - The Last Station
Stanley Tucci - The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz - Inglourious Basterds

Who WILL win: Christoph Waltz - Inglourious Basterds

He won it ages ago, as soon as Basterds premiered at Cannes. It's the star-making performance that manages to be exciting, tense, amusing, sadistic and a little bit loopy without losing the audience. And kudos to Tarantino for casting this before-now unknown actor.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Penelope Cruz - Nine
Vera Farmiga - Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick - Up in the Air
Mo'nique - Precious

Who WILL win: Mo'nique - Precious

Mo'nique, best known as a comedienne and TV talk show host goes to dark depths as the appallingly abusive mother of an overweight and illiterate teen girl in Precious (out in SA this Friday). As the SAG, BAFTA, Golden Globe and most critics' Best Supporting Actress of the year, she has every reason to fine-tune that acceptance speech.

BEST ANIMATED FILM
Coraline
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Princess and the Frog
The Secret of Kells
Up

Who WILL win: Up

Could this be the strongest Academy Awards category in terms of creativity and audience-pleasing aptitude? It's certainly the one area of the awards that raises a smile, a gratifying memory and doesn't seem subject to the fierce competitiveness and mud-slinging as seen going on between Best Picture nominees The Hurt Locker and Avatar.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Mark Boal - The Hurt Locker
Quentin Tarantino - Inglourious Basterds
Alessandro Camon and Oren Moverman - The Messenger
Joel Coen and Ethan Coen - A Serious Man
Peter Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy – Up

Who WILL win: Quentin Tarantino - Inglourious Basterds

Tough call. The Hurt Locker has been the big winner at the pre-Oscar awards. But Inglourious Basterds is way more entertaining. It's basically a movie filled with lots of trash-talk, and words so rich with menace and intent, it had audiences hanging on every syllable. And Tarantino is a previous Screenplay Oscar winner, just by the way.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell - District 9
Nick Hornby - An Education
Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche - In the Loop
Geoffrey Fletcher - Precious
Jason Reitman, Sheldon Turner - Up in the Air

Who WILL win: Jason Reitman, Sheldon Turner - Up in the Air

We want to say that this is where District 9 will have its moment. But, alas, the Academy LOVES Up in the Air and - that love is well-earned. It's a smart, funny, touching little story that also deals with the very real economic crisis with heart and perceptiveness.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Ajami (Israel)
El Secreto de Sus Ojos (Argentina)
The Milk of Sorrow (Peru)
Un Prophète (France)
The White Ribbon (Germany)

Who WILL win: Un Prophète (France)

Always the hardest one to call, perhaps because so few Academy members actually vote In this category. The recent BAFTA win for Un Prophète (The Prophet) gives it the edge.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
Avatar - James Horner
Fantastic Mr. Fox - Alexandre Desplat
The Hurt Locker - Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders
Sherlock Holmes - Hans Zimmer
Up - Michael Giacchino

Who WILL win: Up - Michael Giacchino

The music is half of Up's winning charm.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

'Almost There' from The Princess and the Frog - Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
'Down in New Orleans' from The Princess and the Frog - Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
'Loin de Paname' from Paris 36 - Music by Reinhardt Wagner Lyric by Frank Thomas
'Take It All' from Nine - Music and Lyric by Maury Yeston
'The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)' from Crazy Heart - Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

Who WILL win: 'The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)'

It's a great, great song. The Academy nearly always gets this category right and it's just a pity we won't get to see Jeff Bridges perform this heart-breaking song at the Oscars since the traditional song performances have been culled from the ceremony. Awful idea.

BEST DOCUMENTARY
Burma VJ
The Cove
Food, Inc.
The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers
Which Way Home

Who WILL win: Food, Inc.

I'm guessing the Academy is more concerned with what they eat than cruel Japanese whaling practices. The Cove is one of the most influential documentaries of recent years, and that's pretty much the job of documentary films, so it's also a strong contender.