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The 10 Most Awkward Sex Scenes

2012-05-08 09:56
Awkward Sex Scenes
* Most of the videos included below are NSFW.

10. American Pie

What happens: Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs) gets carnal with an apple pie in his mom’s kitchen after the virgin is told by his friend Oz that the act is like having sex with a woman. However, Jim’s pleasure with the baked item is rudely interrupted by his father.

Try this at home? It’s the pie that launched a multi-million dollar movie franchise and is also relatively tame compared to the rest of this list… Just be sure the pie’s cooled down!

Watch the scene:

9. Office Space

What happens: Disgruntled office jock Peter suffers a horrible nightmare in which he envisions his horrible boss Lumbergh having sex with his girlfriend Joanna; spectacles on, coffee mug in hand and lazily slurring off his "ah-yeah" trademark phrase as he does the deed.

Try this at home? Best not. No one involved will likely get an ounce of enjoyment out of the experience.

8. Blue Valentine

What happens: Young married couple Dean and Cindy (Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams) book a weekend away at a dodgy themed motel to recapture the magic, but Cindy’s already mentally checked out of their broken marriage and relents to her husband’s invasive and pitiful pleas to let him have his way with her.

Try this at home? A weekend away is always a great idea – but this movie is probably the worst place to be getting any seduction tips. Ryan Gosling has had better luck elsewhere, we’re certain.

7. A Fish Called Wanda

What happens: Casanova extraordinaire Otto (played Kevin Kline) tries to woo his girlfriend Wanda with some mangled Italian (most of them dictators' names), smelling his own armpits and then boisterously hopping on her before making the most hilarious "O" face in the history of cinema. It’s a move that also helped Kevin Kline to an Oscar!

Try this at home? If you did, it would probably only satisfy one half of the couple, and make the other half break into a paralysing fit of giggles. You’ve been warned.

Watch the scene:

6. Team America: World Police

What happens: Counter-terrorist agents Gary and Lisa find time to connect on Mount Rushmore as they deal with their feelings, over soft romantic pan pipes. But when they make it to the bedroom, they display an impressive variety of positions, and a litheness and flexibility that can only come from their experience as ass-kicking terrorist killers. Or because they’re actually marionettes.

Try this at home? Only if you’re a yoga fanatic, or like playing with dolls.

Watch the scene:

5. Monster's Ball

What happens: After her abusive husband is executed in prison and her son is killed in a hit-and-run incident, Halle Berry’s Leticia finds comfort in the arms of her husband’s racist prison guard Hank (Billy Bob Thornton). Hank is also mourning the suicide of his own son (played by Heath Ledger) and when the two tragic souls give in to their passion on the living room floor, it’s like watching all the pain in the world get naked and nasty.

Try this at home? Well, you’ll have to be in a pretty dark place to begin with. Halle Berry’s pained pleas to Hank to "make me feel GOOD" are probably more awkward than the constant grunting.

Watch the scene

4. The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn: Part 1

What happens: Vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinsson) finally gets to bed his young bride Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart). And the moment is so overwhelming for him that he breaks the bed posts (and all the lame metaphors it evokes) and absolutely destroys a bunch of innocently bystanding feather pillows. Oh, and he leaves his wife black and blue too, just for good measure.

Try this at home? Only if you don’t have a life and can’t afford sex toys.

3. Antichrist

What happens: Lars von Trier goes to some particularly graphic lengths to open up this disturbing drama. An unnamed couple (played by Willem Defoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg) are going at it in the shower (in slow motion, with close-up, black and white shots of the unsimulated sex act). But unbeknownst to them both, their infant child is falling to his death from his bedroom window.

Try this at home? Watching this scene might put you off having sex ever again, actually.

2. Demolition Man

What happens: It’s the year 2030 and police officer Lenina Huxley (Sandra Bullock) invites her newly unfrozen colleague John Spartan (Sylvester Stallone) to have sex with her. But instead of getting into the missionary position, they wear crash helmets and are virtually stimulated by flashing images of each other’s contorted faces. Because exchanging bodily fluids is just too "eeeuw" according to Bullock.

Try this at home? Stick around 20 more years. There’s bound to be an app for that by then.

Watch the scene

1. Showgirls

What happens: Aspiring dancer Nomi Malone (Elizabeth Berkley) finally gets her claws into Las Vegas hotshot Zach Carey (played by Kyle McLachlan) with a vigorous naked workout in Zach’s swimming pool. Much writhing, frothing and grunting ensues, while both actors are denied Oscars for staying in character throughout the torment.

Try this at home?
Not if you want to cause serious damage to your back – and your dignity.

Watch the scene:

** Are there any particularly cringe-worthy sex scenes we should know about? Let us know!

The movie Shame, in which Michael Fassbender plays a sex addict who gets himself to some seriously weird carnal conundrums, is released this week. It's a movie that instantly made us think of the 10 weirdest, most awkward sex scenes in film. Here they are...
Read more on:    sex  |  movies

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