What it's about:Getaway driver Frank Martin has been recruited to deliver a hostage to Eastern Europe. He doesn’t have much choice: a bomb strapped to his wrist will go off if he leaves his vehicle. With Europe’s nastiest thugs on his back and a human cargo that doesn’t trust him, he has to shake off his pursuers one last time.What we thought of it:There is a game people play on internet movie forums called "100 Things I learned from…". In the case of Transporter 3, that list might look something like this:
1. You can bring a sinking car to the surface by inflating duffel bags with the air in your tyres.2. Turbo-charged car speeding away from you? Grab a BMX. It’s much faster.3. You can strangle 20 assailants with a pressed jacket.
You see, calling the Transporter series "over the top" is like saying Julius Malema is "fond of public speaking". It’s absolutely bonkers, and for that reason, many film buffs will hate it. In a thinly stretched canvas of bad accents and awful Euro stereotypes, there’s a lot not to like.
But then come the explosions. And the daring escapes, each more ridiculous than the last. And the obligatory sultry heroine? Totally hot. Before long, the action junkies, those of us who cheer instead of yawn when plotlines veer into the absurd, have been won over.
Jason Statham, shirtless most of the time, does his British hard man bit rather well as Frank Martin. Of course we’ve seen him doing it exactly the same since Lock, Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels, but who cares? For the South African, Jason Statham’s movies are like going to the zoo: "Look Dad, he says 'larf instead of 'laugh'!" What fun.
Hairdresser-turned-actress Natalya Rudakova ain’t Charlize, but as a vatterige underage pseudo-Russian foil to our beloved Brit, she does quite a sterling job. If you believe in rumours, producer Luc Besson must be sharing quite the holiday with her, somewhere hush-hush in the Mediterannean.
Ultimately, Transporter 3 is like a Louis Vuitton knock-off bag. Good taste and the respect of your peers dictate that you should steer clear. But some of us can’t help thinking: "I freaking love this!"
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