2012

2009-12-07 09:01
 
2012

What it's about:

Author Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) discovers a global conspiracy to cover up an impending global disaster, with plans in place to save only the important and super rich. As the first cracks begin to appear and people around the globe are thrown into panic by earthquakes and tsunamis, he leads a small group of survivors to try and find the ships that are meant to withstand the catastrophe.

What we thought:

2012 is director Roland Emmerich’s latest CGI vehicle and hence should be approached with extreme caution. If anyone remembers last year’s dreadful 10 000 BC, they’d be justified in passing 2012 over as another dull, bloated, mess of an action movie that is about as exciting as watching paint dry. Luckily, times have changed and 2012 is actually not that terrible.

In order to get anything out of 2012, it’s important to switch off your brain as you enter the cinema. There is a lot of portentous dialogue about the end of the world, and what we as a species have done to deserve it, but it all sounds ridiculous, as does the pseudo science used to explain the phenomenon. Like 10 000 BC, it is a world as imagined by a sugar powered teenage boy who has been brought up on a diet of brainless action movies and the Hallmark channel.

The fun starts when the disaster actually strikes, and you can see where the film’s budget went. Occasionally there are some iffy-looking graphics, but most of the time the spectacle is impressive and fast moving enough to keep you entertained. The catastrophes that occur include helpless people staring in horror as some natural disaster looms over them, or our plucky band of survivors miraculously managing to outrun earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, and anything else the world throws their way. Many of the scenes look like they’re from some amazing video game and I found myself wishing that it was me fleeing earth tremors in a turbo limousine while the world explodes around me.

As exhilarating as a lot of the action is, it’s mired by a lot of sickly sentimental dross like good-hearted scientist Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and his conversations with his jazzman father, and US president, Danny Glover, who gives tear jerking speech after tear jerking speech. It’s a brainless blockbuster, so it’s almost forgivable, but the two-and-a-half hour running time isn’t. The final hour might as well be the first hour of the movie looped – stuff gets destroyed and John Cusack flees from disaster, and it all gets extremely tedious. Tack on a ludicrously cheerful conclusion, and voila! Money in the bank!

As much as there is to criticise about 2012, there is also much to enjoy if you can ignore how absurd it all is. The buttock-numbing length may prove a challenge for some as it drains the thrill from even the flashiest edge-of-your-seat moments.


Three years in the future, John Cusack and his dysfunctional family outrun the end of the world.

lubz 2009/12/03 10:44 AM
Argh bru we need one of these every year. Just to escape from the grim realities of life.
Jork 2009/12/03 11:02 AM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Ag man, just let it go, 10000 BC is a krap movie but it was also not a disaster movie. The rest of the world thinks it's a good movie, and I am not expecting a great story from this because story does not really have a place in this kind of movie. Get off your high horse and watch the movie for what it is not for what you think it should be. Critics disgust me, you give yourselves a bad name!
Psuedo Scientist 2009/12/03 12:53 PM
They might outrun, earth quakes, tremmors and tsunamis, but the will not outrun the power of the people. Our own natural disaster Malema will get them. He will nationalise their assests and expropriate their land.
I hate critics 2009/12/03 1:18 PM
Sorry if 10000BC was not good enough for your highness but I actually enjoyed it very much. SO that means that 2012 will be amazing - I'll be leaving to buy my tickets any moment now. Why is it that the movies the 'critics' hate are normally the best movies to watch?
fraud 2009/12/03 3:13 PM
I hate movie critics too! Barry Ronge is the same. When he gives a movie a bad review, I actually watch it. When he gives it a good review, I know it will suck!!
Seen it 2009/12/03 3:19 PM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Saw it last night (at the cinema) and have to agree with Ivan. Good special effects but tiring. Poor (ridiculous) dialogue, silly science and the same action scenes over and over. If you want to see it, see it on the big screen for the special effects and only for that. PS get the large drink (and maybe add some brandy!)
Karl 2009/12/03 7:36 PM
I LOVE film critics. They usually save money by NOT going to see a junk film on the big screen (special effect flicks aside), or waiting for a not-so-good film to come out on DVD. Keep it up Ivan!
Sean 2009/12/07 11:03 AM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Loved it! Although very long it kept me interested throughout. Plus was that it didnt have the obvious hero and no annoying trying to be funny pretty boy sidekick.
CraigMac 2009/12/07 11:52 AM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Absolutely brilliant!! Even though it was long, it did not feel like it at all as it kept my attention the whole duration. One of the best movies of the year! Much better that 10 000BC which was a load of rubbish! I can't wait to see it again!
Lynelle Lambert Marajh 2009/12/07 2:14 PM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
i`ve watched it 3 times & enjoyed it everytime my kids ( 20 & 17 yrs) also njoyed it they gonna watch it again - also i`d just like to say how grateful i am i live in KwaZulu Natal ( lol) watch the movie to understand...... oh yes and my future son in law is a trainee pilot - which adds to my luck lmao - i give this movie 5 oscars!!!!!!!
Action Fan 2009/12/07 3:44 PM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Loved the movie. It was a great ascape.
Therk 2009/12/07 3:56 PM
Gee. If you[Ivan] were not entertained by the movie, then it would not even interest me in the least to go and watch it. I prefer the real thing by living in my own movie- "Bringing the world to an end". Wow, you even get to die for real. OFCOURSE MOVIES ARE JUST MAKE BELIEF! DAH! So don't expect things to be too realistic.
Henry 2009/12/07 4:57 PM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
I wish this really can happen...then we can start over....if we survive that is. lol Great movie. Made me forget about all SA's crap...and then at the end of the movie they made mention of SA again (The highest mountain range in the world is the Drakensberg) oh my....!!I heard Julias is buying the mountain for only R250.
marmite76 2009/12/07 8:52 PM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Who cares if this movie didn't have the best script ... which good action movie ever has? '2012' was a reality check into some scary future shit - I loved it and the special effects were AMAZING!
Zander Heeger 2009/12/08 10:13 AM
That's an intelligent and balanced crit Ivan Sadler. Well done. I'll be following your reviews with interest
YTAH 2009/12/08 2:59 PM
If you hate critics so much ... STOP READING THE #$!!*ING REVIEWS YOU @^$&. And, as a favour to the rest of us, stop posting inane comments on message boards like a bored schoolboy. You're tedious. PS. This movie was alright, but surprisingly boring for an action movie. Less talking, more running away and ludicrous special effects.
THE BOSS 2009/12/09 4:59 PM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Saw the movie BRILLIANT!!!RIVETING AND THE SPECIAL EFFECTS WAS THE BEST I HAVE EVER SEEN. IVAN - WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR REVIEWS. YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE MAN. YOU GIVE THE THUMBS UP FOR BORING MOVIES BUT FOR THE DESERVED MOVIES LIKE 2012 YOU GIVE ALL THESE LA DEE DA COMMENTS LIKE WE ARE INTERESTED IN ALL THAT MAMABO JUMBO. MOVIES ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT, NOT FOR GEEKY REVIEWS LIKE YOURS ALWAYS IS !!!
Mass Suicide 2009/12/15 3:00 PM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
One of my friends described this movie best by saying, "I wish 2012 does actually happen, just on the off chance that it's any better than the movie..." And I fully agree with him. This was 3 hours (including insanely long previews and murderous TV Ads) of my life totally wasted. I know the special affects were quite good, but honestly - that is the worst script writing and directing I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing. John Cusack has just committed professional suicide with this one. Anyone who blasts this critic Ivan Sadler for his extremely accurate review by saying that this movie is any good at all needs to quit their day job and apply for a job under Julius Malema.
Emkae 2009/12/30 1:13 PM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Thank you Ivan. Me and my wife watched the movie yday and 'Switch off the brain' is exactly what I told her when she was trying to critique afterwards. LOL
osiris 2010/02/21 6:07 PM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
awesome graphics...but poor storyline....
NEXT ON CHANNELX
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.