Blood: The Last Vampire

2009-10-09 11:31
 
Blood: The Last Vampire

What it's about:

When the mother of all vampires (literally!) is lured into Japan by the American government, it is left to Saya - half-human, half-vampire - to destroy her the only way she knows how: with a samurai sword.

What we thought:

Anime is a great storytelling medium. It has given casual fans and die-hard otaku alike the joy of countless fresh, fun narratives that Hollywood was too busy or too set in its ways to deliver. Blood: The Last Vampire was one of them. But not anymore.

Carrying on where it left off with Dragonball Evolution, Tinseltown has destroyed yet another anime’s legacy by turning it into a live-action plodder. Initially, Blood promises a mixture of modern vampire blockbuster and style-over-substance action in the Hong Kong tradition (think Blade meets Kung Fu Hustle).  But the promise is put to bed, drugged and suffocated with a downy pillow the moment it’s supposed to become interesting: the first fight scene.

Imagine the young, beautiful heroine Saya (mankind’s saviour from the vampire threat) fighting two supernatural foes to the death – with swords! Should be exciting, right? But the entire movie fails despite one or two vignettes of interesting fighting choreography because the overall quality is so poor and we can never suspend our disbelief, even for a second.

Blood cuts from shot to shot so rapidly at times that I became physically nauseous from watching it. That was before I got a look at the laughable CGI and special effects they used to animate the "blood" (presumably by a four-year old with an Etcher-Sketch).

While I’m loath to tread on the Far Eastern tradition of stoic lead characters, Gianna Jun’s portrayal of Saya is so wooden, she makes Keanu Reeves look like Kate Winslet. Plot holes, senseless dialogue and the crushing knowledge that you could be doing something else, compound what is surely one of the bigger flops of 2009. Avoid.


It doesn’t wear a cape and it’s not afraid of garlic. But in one crucial aspect, Blood is exactly like a vampire: it sucks.

preshen govender 2009/10/09 4:15 PM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
What is the height of desperation ? A vampire sucking on a used tampon
Recato Eberwein 2009/10/09 9:41 PM
Preshen Why would a vampire suck on a tampon? Are women not suppose to throw it away after use? I think this shows total disrespect to me, an ANC member and anti-sex.
ryu 2009/10/10 11:05 AM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
@recato eberwein....get over yourself,get a life and a new political party.....respect is earned.
Ness 2009/10/12 7:30 AM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Er.. back to the movie - It's probably the worst movie I've seen in a loooong time. Like the writer said, an absolute waste of time, we spent most of it wondering what else we could have been doing.
Taj Mahal King 2009/10/12 7:47 AM
Eish, now u see why we need to support piracy!!! Movies like these are for piracy only...I miss movies like the Shawshank redemption, Pulp Fiction,A river runs through it, Godfather...eish!
nos 2009/10/12 7:49 AM
what a waste of my time and money!
asikur 2009/10/12 8:30 AM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
high quarity news
NEXT ON CHANNELX
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.