Dark Shadows

What it's about:

Liverpool native Barnabus Collins (played by Johnny Depp) used to be the wealthy heir to his family’s empire in 18th century Collinsport, on the east coast of the US. But his bright future comes to a premature end when he loses his betrothed Josette and is turned into a vampire by his maid Angelique (Eva Green), a witch whose love he spurned. Buried underground for 200 years, he is unearthed and arrives back at his manor in 1972 to discover that the remains of his family are a dysfunctional lot who have driven his legacy into the ground.

What we thought:

If Johnny Depp keeps this up, he will add his name to that growing list of Hollywood A-listers who invariably find themselves playing the same character repeatedly.

In Dark Shadows, Depp's vampire character gets some great lines as a supernatural anachronism, strutting around town with an arrogance of purpose that will no doubt delight fans.

But the ghosts of his past, great roles – Edward Scissorhands, Captain Jack Sparrow, Sweeney Todd – are ever-present, diluting all the fun and potential for this character to be nearly as memorable. Based on the TV series from the 70s and 80s, the film maintains the original’s schlocky elements, with particularly overstated performances from Depp and Eva Green, and a sitcom-like playfulness to the scenes of family disarray.

Tim Burton has assembled a pretty great cast (though any cast that includes Michelle Pfeiffer is automatically above par) and, on paper at least, their characters are intriguing. Pfeiffer is the long-suffering matriarch of the family, Elizabeth, who suffers her sullen teenage daughter (Chloe Moretz) the most. Johnny Lee Miller is her wastrel brother Roger, who is as bad a father to his young son David as he is a businessman.

Helena Bonham Carter is the live-in psychiatrist Dr Julia Hoffman, brought in to help David deal with his mother’s death some years earlier and takes a special interest in Barnabus' strange nature.

And then there’s the mysterious young woman who calls herself Victoria (Bella Heathcote), who is hired as Sam’s governess and bears a striking resemblance to Barnabus' dearly departed love Josette.

Everyone in the Collins mansion seems to be holding a secret of some sort, and instead of getting to know his family better, Barnabus becomes obsessed with restoring their good name and their fish canning empire that’s been closed down since competition from Angelique’s company Angel Bay crushed them into bankruptcy.

But not even vampires learn from their past mistakes, and Barnabus' pride gets in the way again when he comes face-to-face with his arch nemesis, who not only cursed him but his entire family line.

However, all the careful set up doesn’t really amount to much as Burton ignores his characters and focuses on the sexually charged rivalry between Barnabus and Angelique, while offering spooky clues to Victoria’s own strange history.

Neither avenue is as interesting as Burton thinks it is and makes waste of the talent he has at his disposal – most tragically Michelle Pfeiffer, whose great comedic timing and fantastic face does what it can to enliven the movie’s studiously dry humour.

Jackie Earle Haley is a hoot as the Collins' dim househand in an unfortunately minor role, so it’s left to Depp and Green to do all the heavy lifting. The sparks should be flying all over the screen when these two go head to head, but even a chaotic scene as when Barnabus and Angelique finally deal with their sexual tension is suspiciously lacking in sizzle or just plain entertainment.

While all the ingredients for a fun and wacky little retro comedy are present, Dark Shadows is minor Tim Burton that’s too stingy with its serving size to fully satisfy.

Hopefully Burton has better luck with the sequel that begs to be made after the film’s sort-of thrilling finale.