And what have they done to Jessica Alba? Her make-up and hair are so overdone it’s like they’ve plasticised her. With an actress that ridiculously beautiful you don’t have to do anything – just let her be. All the gunk on her face just gets in the way. What? Her acting? You aren’t serious right? Who cares about her acting?
Hey, at least we can still enjoy Chris Evans. He’s even got his shirt off for a whole scene (now, now, stop drooling.) He was pretty much the funniest thing in the last movie, and this time he’s got all these great lines like when he says… Hang on, there’s that time when… no that was the first movie. Oh, ya, there’s this scene where… That’s weird, I can’t remember even one funny line.
There are a few good scenes though. Like when this mean General guy tells Mr Fantastic, "you’ll follow my orders, just like the nerds did in high school" and Mr Fantastic does this whole "well now I’ve got a hot girlfriend and superpowers and science" thing. Sweet! It’s always cool when the guys who are about to save humanity from destruction are exchanging playground insults. Really adds to the drama and awe.
But, seriously, when they start switching powers it’s the most entertaining thing in the whole movie. It’s so entertaining, in fact, that they have to keep doing it over and over and over again.
And if you ever get confused about what’s going on (since the plot is so complicated), there’s this part right near the end where the stone guy explains everything, talking out loud to no-one in particular in that way they always do in the movies.
Best of all, it has the decency to get it over with in 92 minutes, and not hang around for three hours stinking up the theatre like Pirates of the Caribbean 3 or Spider-man 3. Who knows, maybe they’ll get all full of themselves when they get to the inevitable third edition of Fantastic Four and make it four hours long. That way we can enjoy some shut-eye and still have time to eat our popcorn.
- Alistair Fairweather
Delivers exactly what it promises: adorable stars, expensive effects and adolescent mischief. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Just another typical Tom Cruise action film, with nothing to get too excited about. The film is loaded with action-film stereotypes and cheesy one-liners. Read More »
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Hands of Stone is a bland, unlikable portrayal of a real-life boxer that struggles to hit the highs of Rocky IV let alone Raging Bull or the original Rocky. Mark this one down as “for boxing fanatics only”. Read More »
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