Jackass 3D

2010-11-22 10:45
 
Jackass 3D
 
What it's about:

Johnny Knoxville and co are back with all the painful stunts and gross out lunacy that fans have come to love.

What we thought:

I would like to simply write off Jackass 3D as flatulent nonsense of the lowest order and move on with my life but this very strong contender for the most worthless, abysmally crap movie of the year deserves a little more attention than that. I have noticed a trend among most film critics to give the film something of a pass for simply being what it set out to be but I cannot find it within myself to be anywhere nearly so charitable. It is certainly true that Jackass 3D has no misconceptions about what it is and never tries to shoehorn some sort of story into its juvenile collection of head-banging, nuts-cracking physical self-inflictions and vomit-inducing puerility, but none of this changes the fact that this was quite easily the least amount of fun I've had at the cinema all year.

In the interest of fairness, I do have to admit to three inescapable truths. First, much to my sanity's eternal gratitude, I have never seen more than ten minutes of Jackass in my life prior to this, every minute of which I hated, so I could not have entered the cinema with lower expectations. Second, the 3D is actually pretty good considering that it was made for exactly this sort of thing in the first place. Third, though the closest I ever came to laughter in Jackass 3D's interminable 95 minutes was a slight snicker at the sight of Knoxville getting his ass handed to him by a Billy goat that seemed about as chuffed with Knoxville's obnoxious presence as I was, there were a few solid laughs from the rest of the audience throughout the film. Clearly this film works for some people but, as I can't speak for any of them, allow me to share a few thoughts and ideas on why I thought that Jackass 3D was the cinematic equivalent of water torture.

Here we have a film that never built itself up to be anything but very, very stupid and very, very funny and while it more than delivered on its first promise, it failed monumentally on its second. I have nothing against comedy that goes for the cheapest dumbest laughs. The Other Guys, for example, was almost definitely the single funniest thing I've seen all year and while it's hardly entirely bereft of smarts, much of its best laughs come from knock-about slapstick and very silly sight gags. The Other Guys, you see, earned its right to be as stupid as it was at times by being laugh-out-loud funny. Jackass 3D, very simply, did not.

Again, a sense of humour is very subjective but here are a few litmus tests to see whether Jackass 3D will make you laugh out loud or make you want to inflict your own kind of very painful and very permanent pain on the jackasses responsible. Starting with its least offensive and relatively funniest bits, do you find America's Funniest Home Videos funny? You know, the kind of physical humour that is telegraphed so far in advance that you can see the final blow coming a mile away. If, like me, you find the lack of surprise a sure fire way to kill decent physical comedy, then you would know to stay away in droves. If, however, you find the very idea of blokes getting smacked around hilarious, then knock yourself out – at least some of Jackass 3D will actually work for you.

On the other end of the scale, there are the moments where Jackass 3D went from painfully unfunny to just painful. Stupid slapstick is one thing but here's the real question: Do you find the very idea of one man drinking another man's sweat more funny than you can possibly bear? Does the mention of the phrase "faecal volcano" have you rolling in the isles? How about a camera's-eye view of one jackass urinating all over his friends? Yeah? Well, OK, then. Feel free to knock yourself out. And this time I mean that quite literally.

For the rest of you, I'm sure you'll agree with me in finding that the only good thing to say about Jackass 3D is that hopefully the jackasses involved have done enough damage to themselves to ensure that they never,  ever, ever procreate.

Take a bow Messrs. Tremaine, Lacy, Knoxville et al. You have just made the worst film of the year – a year, incidentally, that has Vampires Suck to its massive discredit. Well done, sirs. Well done, indeed.

Your enjoyment of Jackass 3D will depend largely on your feelings about America's Funniest Home Videos and men urinating on each other.
Read more on:    johnny knoxville  |  movie

Paul 2010/11/23 8:41 AM
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You, my good man, you try too hard... Reviews need to be objective. Jackass was made with a certain audience in mind and you definitely are not the target market. Specifically if you have only ever watched 10 minutes of it. You are not in a position to review it. Yes, Jackass is dumb, but I laugh my socks off every time...and for me thats entertainment. You dont see me writing reviews about Eat, Pray, Love. If I had to I would probably crown it as "the worst film of the year". Objectivity...subjectivity...look it up Get it? Got it! Good!
adam 2010/11/23 9:54 AM
Good one Paul! i hate the movie reviewers
Capital Q 2010/11/23 10:27 AM
Agree 100% with Paul. How could you be assigned this movie is you are obviosly biased by your own account? It sounds like the movie is enjoyed by the target audience as you admit the rest of the theatre got a lot of laughs. The movie never made any promises as to plot, acting or 'adult' nature of its behaviour - this much should have been obvious from the trailer or anybody who knows what Jackass is about. To me this clearly says that 'Vampires suck' is the worst of the two movies as it DID try have acting and themes in - which according to you it also failed at. The problem is lying with the journalist trying to be intellectual; and not the movie. News24 - choose your reviewers better.
Gavin 2010/11/23 2:53 PM
Yup, I agree with Paul as well. The 'review' was as representative of the intended audience as it would have been had Barry Ronge written it. I would probably laugh my head off at 50% of the Jackass stunts, but would still dismiss myself from reviewing it because the other 50% would spoil it for me.
Richard 2010/11/23 3:51 PM
Agree with Paul. In all honesty, reviewing Jackass in the first place is about as useful as sending Julius Malema to an intellectual debate. The point of Jackass is pranks and ridiculous scenarios. There is no plot, why "review" it. This would be my review: "Jackass made me laugh, alot. It's awesome." Simple and effective. Maybe focus on that next time, Mr fancypants Ilan Preskovsky.
Ilan Preskovsky 2010/11/23 10:32 PM
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Sure, Richard. "Jackass never made me laugh once. It's awful." Happy?
Ilan Preskovsky 2010/11/23 10:35 PM
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Oh and Paul. Sorry but there's so such thing as pure objectivity in reviewing. Regardless of what you might think of me, any reviewer worth his or her salt realizes this. Otherwise all you would get is a straight summary of the plot. That's a synopsis, not a review.
Rowan 2010/11/24 9:23 AM
He had me at 'faecal volcano'... I am SO watching this movie!
mike 2010/11/24 10:09 AM
@ Paul you fall foul of your own logic. You call on the writer to be objective yet you admit you enjoy Jackass and give it a four star rating, however in the same breath admit that you would write off Eat, Pray,Love clearly because you don't enjoy it. Where is the objectivity I ask you? Critics don’t need to be objective as they are asked to expound on how they found a particular experience. Which already taints the existence of any objectivity.
PatcheS 2010/11/24 12:03 PM
Mr Preskovsky, judging by your condescending responses to Paul, it is clear you obviously have an inferiority complex, and feel the need to prove your attempted social stature by being condescending. You are obviously not an objective person and have proven this by your sarcastic attack, on the people who have taken the time to comment on your badly written article. You have an attitude, drop it.
PatcheS 2010/11/24 12:06 PM
Oh and Mr Preskovsky, your opinion is not worth a pinch of salt.
Ilan Preskovsky 2010/11/24 5:12 PM
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Pssst... PatcheS... I wasn't actually being condescending or sarcastic to Paul. I was simply disagreeing with his point about "objective reviewing". I wasn't being sarcastic when I said a truly objective review is a synopsis, not a review. That's just what it is. But seriously, Mr Objectivity. "Irony". Look it up.
Chris 2010/11/24 5:58 PM
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Iian jerks off to pictures of his grandmother and thinks "The Sound of Music" is the best movie ever made. Dickhead
Chris 2010/11/24 8:54 PM
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Iian Preskovsky jacks off to pictures of his grandmother and thinks "The Sound of Music" is the best action film ever made. Dickhead.
george 2010/12/13 6:42 PM
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i think that paul is one of those prick office guys that has no self-worth and he most likely is angry from the lack of vigina that he gets and still gets cought wacking it to his moms HBO channles
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