Rise: Blood Hunter

2008-01-10 16:40
 
What it's about:

Reporter Sadie Blake tracks what she thinks is a gang of "Goths", only to be captured, drained of blood and left for dead. She wakes up in a morgue and learns she has been transformed into a vampire. With the help of a mysterious monk, she vows to track the bloodsuckers and destroy them.

What we thought of it:

Rise has to be one of the dullest and most pointless horror films made this year, and could probably stand up against the worst films of the last decade in a contest of taking 90 minutes and making it seem like several weeks. Actually, it's a bit of a stretch to even call it a film. We're only giving it a 1* rating because we can't give it zero.

Lucy Liu isn't much of an actress. She does get naked a bit (but not naked enough to justify you sitting through Rise), and the rest of the cast might as well be finger puppets for all the drama and energy they bring to the mix. James D'Arcy plays the evil arch vampire with all the foppish British charm of Hugh Grant after serious brain damage, and Marilyn Manson makes a cameo as a bartender.

The first of Rise's endless problems is that all plot and character development have actually been edited out of the final product, leaving a random series of scenes with no motivation. Who is the head vampire? Some British guy who sucks blood. Who is the mysterious monk who trains Sadie? Oh, he's just some mysterious monk. What are these vampires planning? You've watched enough vampire movies, so make up your own plot.

The action and special effects are laughable, and with the internet around, teenage boys no longer have to fork out money on rubbish like this to see brief glimpses of celebrity nipples.

A more exciting alternative to Rise would be to tear up your money, and sit on a park bench and watch pigeons. Honestly. This deserves nothing but contempt.

- Ivan Sadler
A reporter investigates a clan of vampires who capture her and turn her into one of them. She hunts them down one by one and exacts a brutal vengeance.

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