Kelly Khumalo says Bafana Bafana captain and boyfriend Senzo Meyiwa took his last breath in her arms

Oscar Pistorius reportedly messaged former British model Katie Price during his murder trial

Scary Movie 5

2013-07-26 09:49
 
Scary Movie 5
What it's about:

Who knows? It jumps from bad movie plot line to the next, but the main "plot" (derived from Andres Muschietti's Mama) seems to involve Charlie Sheen's children who get lost in the woods but are found by Snoop Dogg/Lion. But the kids want to live with Charlie's brother and his punk rocker/ballerina wannabe girlfriend who finds out that the children are haunted by a cursed random woman.

What we thought:

This is one of those movies where you can't go in expecting it to be good/funny/have a plot. But this one was on a whole different level. It even started out hopeful, with the best scene at the beginning of the movie.

Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan, who pulled no punches at mocking their own celebrity lives, had a hilarious Paranormal Activity scene that did not seem to have anything to do with the rest of the movie. But that will be the last time you hear laughter in the cinema.

Despite having a cast that has some credibility, Ashley Tisdale from High School Musical fame, Scary Movie returnee Simon Rex and Modern Family's Sarah Hyland, the acting could not make up for the bad plot, although "bad" does not quite cover it. It jumps from one movie spoof to the next, with some scenes where you weren't even sure what movie it was spoofing.

I admit I was a fan of the Scary Movie franchise, when it was still funny. But their bizarre choice of movies to rip off (Black Swan and Rise of the Planet of the Apes) and the lack of a coherent story just leaves a movie filled with skits that won't be able to get even a smile. Instead of spoofing the movies, they just rehashed their storylines and added either a violent beating of a character or sexual references.

Another difference between this and the other Scary Movies is the lack of Anna Faris and her token black sidekick Regina Hall. They somehow managed to get you through the plot in one piece and Tisdale and Erica Ash did not have the same comedic chemistry that those two veterans had.

On another note, this kind of movie will insult some or all of your moral senses, you don't expect otherwise, but some of the scenes with Charlie Sheen's "children" were bordering on the inappropriate and unacceptable, for example a scene involving one wildling girl and a . There are some un-PC things you can joke with. This is not one of them.

If you are looking for a fun movie which doesn't require thinking, don't even bother. In those kind of movies you let the writers do the thinking for you, and after watching Scary Movie 5 your brain will feel dirty and in need of some intellectual scrubbing.

If you plan on "lighting up" before the movie, by all means watch it. It will be the only way you will be able to make any sense out of it. 


You thought it was all over. You were wrong. Another instalment in the spoof movie franchise, Scary Movie 5 will leave you wanting more. More of your money back.

NEXT ON CHANNEL24X

A Most Wanted Man

2014-10-16 23:29

Add Your Review

(Comments may be edited or deleted at the Channel24 editors’ discretion)
Shelley Jennings 7/29/2013 1:49 PM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
WOO HOO!!!!!!!!! ANother one!!!!! Can't wait!!!!! LOVE Scary Movies!!!!! :DD
Lydon Daniel McGrane 7/29/2013 9:42 PM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Honestly the biggest waste of money I've made in a long time. Terrible doesn't begin to describe it. Atrocious from the first scene.
Your Name
Comment
Please enter the following text
Captcha
Your rating
for this movie
Rate Me...  
 
 

Recent Reviews

A Most Wanted Man

2014-10-16 23:29

One of Philip Seymour Hoffman’s last films, A Most Wanted Man is an espionage thriller that is all about the intelligence instead of the action. Read More »
Add your review

Magic in the Moonlight

2014-10-16 23:29

Hard to believe a Woody Allen film could be delightful, but that’s mostly because of the delightful performances of Colin Firth and Emma Stone. Read More »
Add your review

There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.