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That's My Boy

2012-08-02 10:04
 
100% laugh-free comedy, detestable sexual politics and an unbearably long running time make this the Adam Sandler comedy to beat! With a baseball bat.
What it's about:

After getting his teacher pregnant at the age of 13, Donny (Adam Sandler) is left to raise their son, Todd (Andy Samberg) alone. Needless to say, he does a terrible job of it and the two drift apart. But mere days before Todd is due to get married, Donny comes crashing back into his life in a desperate attempt to get some money to repay his building debt.

What we thought:

A few, short months ago, Adam Sandler released a film that looked to be the absolute nadir of an endlessly long "comedy" career that was really never all that great to begin with. Jack and Jill was an absolute, unmitigated disaster that, at its lowest of low points, found Sandler dressed in drag as his own sister, being hit on by Al Pacino.

Dressed up as a "comedy" film, Jack and Jill was a truly hateful, steaming pile of excrement whose only redeeming feature was that it surely meant that Sandler had nowhere to go from there but up.

Sadly, that one ray of hope in what was an otherwise 90 minutes of bleak, inescapable darkness has proven to be a bit premature. Sandler may have hit rock bottom, but he has a shovel and he is not afraid to use it. It may seem inconceivable, but there are apparently even lower levels of hell than the one which spawned Jack and Jill - and Adam Sandler seems intent in mining these levels for all they're worth. Don't let its deceptively innocuous title fool you, That's My Boy is pretty much pure, unadulterated evil. Seriously.

A a multi-levelled kaleidoscope of cinematic sins, it's impossible to know where to attack it first. It's unfunny, obviously, but does the fact that it makes Mr Deeds look like Monty Python's Life of Brian truly capture just how vile an experience it is to sit through the entirety of That's My Boy? Probably not. How about the fact that this onslaught of horrific unfunniness goes on for nearly two full hours and is therefore, on a purely quantitative level, 33% more awful than the vast majority of Sandler's films to date? We're getting there, I think, but we're still on the level of mere awfulness when That's My Boy is clearly so much worse than that.

OK, lets try this out: That's My Boy is, inside and out, the ugliest film Sandler has released to date. That's right, it's even uglier than Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star, as he takes that film's "star" (Nick Swardson) and all of its prurient, viciously unattractive sexuality and crowbars it, by way of what may well be the least sexy strip joint in all of cinema, into That's My Boy's already bloated running time. That stuff has no reason whatsoever to be there, but it's made all the worse when these strip-club scenes are so bereft of any actual sexiness that straight males would be better off watching Magic Mike.

I should point out at this point that I realise Sandler neither directed nor wrote this film but his grubby thumb prints are so prevalent that the names Sean Anders and David Caspe might as well be pseudonyms for Sandler himself. And for all we know, they may well be exactly that. The biggest tell-tale sign is that once again Sandler's sexual politics go so far beyond your typical gross-out comedy schtick to such vomitous levels that you'll feel the need to bath in paint thinner just to get its acrid stench off of you.

This is a film where not only does the 13-year-old Adam Sandler stand-in schtup his insanely hot teacher (Eva Amurri) but he's so good at it that she can't think of anyone but him from that moment on. Better yet, that is absolutely, by a hundred million miles, the most realistic "sexual relationship" that Sandler's character has in the entire film. I know, I know, statutory rape: How unbelievably hilarious! And yet, at least this young version of Adam Sandler isn't played by Sandler himself.

Once again Adam Sandler puts on his "child molester/ brain damaged idiot" voice and not only are we supposed to find it funny, we're supposed to believe that a veritable platoon of stunningly gorgeous women find him unbearably sexy. Best of all, the only woman who isn't charmed by this creepy, lecherous man-child is his son's fiancé who is, would you believe it, a psychopathic super-harpy who is secretly boinking her brother on the side. Because apparently the only way a woman could possibly resist Adam Sandler is by being an incestuous, bitchy fishwife who cares about nothing other than her wedding going off so she can steal her hubby's money. Yay feminism! 

Do I have to go on? It's just unspeakably horrible. And hey, Vanilla Ice is in it! No, I don't know why either, but maybe his presence here will convince Adam Sandler to take on a new career path. And by "new career path", I do of course mean window cleaner, burger flipper or investment banker - or anything really. Just please, keep him away from our cinemas. Please and thank you. 

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2014-07-11 14:20

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(Comments may be edited or deleted at the Channel24 editors’ discretion)
Mike 8/2/2012 10:55 AM
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That's strange... I'm pretty sure "That's My Boy" was regarded by intelligent people as Hilarious, definitely a contender for best comedy ever made. Oh wait, I forgot... most reviewers rate movies without watching them... and judging by this review, you haven't seen other Adam Sandler movies either, nor do you comprehend comedy very well. I mean seriously, your critique of the voice he uses is not only ill-informed, but also completely misses the point. Not only has he never used this voice, but it's also not trying to be funny, it's just trying to be a character trait (one that would separate Sandler from this film and his more family-friendly films... basically saying, this is a very different Sandler than you're used to.) Now, what led me to believe you didn't even see this film, is that, like every other bad review of this incredible film, you provided no plot details other than the summary you found from other reviews. Not only that, you also made up something you ASSUMED was true about the film, since in your mind it's some boring, predictable story. I assure you, Todd's fiance does NOT steal money from him. In conclusion, you ask Adam Sandler to stay away from our cinemas, when in actuality, it is YOU sir, who should stay away from the cinemas.
JStrauss 8/2/2012 11:28 AM
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I saw it. It was horrible. Accurate review. Time to hang up your 'acting' cap, Mr. Sandler...please.
Renee 8/2/2012 11:44 AM
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Sounds absolutely horrendous. I'd rather watch the new Schuster movie on repeat!
What??!!?? 8/2/2012 1:50 PM
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This is crazy. People berated Jack and Jill, and I was two minded about watching it. Eventually I rented it, and it was funny, same as all of Sandler's previous movies. Al Pacino cracked me up in there too. What do you people expect of Adam? An Oscar winning performance? He's always made slapstick comedy that was stupid, and that's what we got from him way back then, and we still want it now. I'm not going to let your snooty review stop me from watching this either. I am sure it will be hilarious. It's quite simple, if you are not a fan of slapstick comedy films (or any other genre for that matter), then don't go watch one (or review it for that matter). I'll go watch it for what it is, and will enjoy myself. Get a life Ilan. Maybe you should stick to reviewing Shakespearian tragedies. It'll match your seriousness.
Lola 8/2/2012 1:53 PM
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So I'm guessing you didn't enjoy it then, Ilan? I can't remember when last I watched a Sandler movie. It could have been Happy Gilmore which is just about enough Sandler for me, thanks. Mike, it could just be that Ilan found the film so awful, that plot details felt insignificant.
Charlie 8/2/2012 1:56 PM
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I agree Horrible, horrible movie.. yucks.
Give it up Sandler! 8/2/2012 2:08 PM
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I didn't even bother watching Jack and Jill. He's made some awesome movies! I love Wedding Singer and Happy Gilmore but you have to admit that his recent outtings are terrible! I won't even bother watching this! know it'll be terrible! once comedic actors do the cross-dressing thing, it's very hard to salvage their careers. dunno why they do that!!! hopefully he can do one more Happy Gilmore before he ends his career!
Dewald 8/2/2012 2:40 PM
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It is a good movie. Adma is very funny again. If it is not your type of movie don’t go and watch it. Tom Cruise also dint make good movies the last few year, but it is still your chose to go and see the movies.
Jenna 8/2/2012 3:12 PM
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Saw the preview yesterday. Holy crap, you're right about the child molester voice. I hate that. The last time I was so put off by a movie trailer it was Jack and Jill. Wait, what?
Simon 8/2/2012 3:49 PM
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Everyone can have opinions. In my opinion, this movie was great! Love Sandlers humor.
Fiona 8/2/2012 4:25 PM
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Havent seen the movie but your review had me laughing out loud. I decided against watching it after seeing the trailer - as it seems to appeal only to those people who like toilet humour and the equivalent thereof (of which there are many millions - whatever rocks your boat) I cant wait for the next adam sandler movie so i can read your review of it :)
morne 8/2/2012 6:08 PM
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Adam Sandlers previous movies were all trash. Honestly.This guy thinks that vulgar jokes is really funny...but its totally crap. And if he tries to talk funny with that shivvering voice...ag nee regtig. Dis genuine kommin verby. Really suited for the zef folk and hill billies out there.
Tim 8/2/2012 8:52 PM
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The movie was actually hilarious. Not a high brow film but certainly no more low brow than Ted, and much funnier. Five stars simply because people rate it one without seeing it.
Phillip 8/2/2012 10:04 PM
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You critics need to remove the sticks from your useless rear ends. Maybe then the Sh*t that keeps backing up and affecting your brain will be evacuated.
Tippy 8/3/2012 7:44 AM
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That voice! For almost 2 hours - not on. I would rather listen to a whole CD of the Chipmunks.
Goodone 8/3/2012 7:59 AM
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Great movie in light of other movies that is shown.
50 First Dates? 8/3/2012 12:29 PM
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I can't comment because I have not seen any of the two movies Jack and Jill or that’s my boy. Adam Sandler movies are DVD movies, where you can sit in your lounge and laugh your ass off with our offending the person next to you. 50 First Dates is one of my favourite movies and to be honest love Mr. Deeds. Like I say I can not judge as I haven’t seen it yet and don’t think we must take the reviews view word for it, no offence but taste differs. As for Jack and Jill, I am a big Dr. Phil fan and he loved it had a whole show for it, so think this weekend will be me and Jack and Jill. Have a good one
earthperson 8/3/2012 11:41 PM
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The person who wrote this article looks like a jealous hater to me. He has not even come remotely close to achieving what Adam Sandler has in anything. So now he decides to ridicule him. Just great you absolute loser. I think Adam Sandler is original and funny. I haven't watched the movie yet, but your nasty little jealous article ain't gonna stop me from watching it. Hater.
mary 8/6/2012 6:48 PM
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This was a seriously laugh-out-loud movie for me. And no, I am not a "hillbilly" or "zef", as a previous person commented. I am a highly intelligent person who enjoys a variety of movies, ranging from Kill Bill to The Piano, to Shrek. If you are easily offended, do not like swear words and close your eyes when there is a kissing scene on 7de laan, then do not watch this movie. But, if you enjoy outrageousness, people poking fun at the 80's and not afraid of the mention of the f-word, then go watch this movie. Make up your own mind about it. Be warned though, this movie is not for the fainthearted. But you will walk out with a smile on your face.
Sam Denton 8/6/2012 9:22 PM
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I used to love Sandler, but this is real crap. Rubbish!!!
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