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The Breed

2007-12-10 12:22
What it's about:

Five college friends fly out to a deserted island for a weekend getaway. While they get liquored up, the friends soon learn that their paradise cove was once a canine research facility, and is not as deserted as they had initially thought. More surprises await the bunch as they discover the cute puppy they've befriended rolls with a pack of rabid, genetically mutated, flesh-eating dogs.

What we thought of it:

Nick Mastandrea should stick to assisting directors, he clearly hasn't learnt enough. Obvious holes in the storyline and timelines that would rival TV soapies yield a B-grade, cheap-looking teen screamer that should've gone straight to DVD.

People often joke about "tokens" in films. But The Breed seems to have taken itself too seriously, and Hill Harper (as the token black guy who actually explains everyone's role in the plot) even more so. Taryn Manning falls short of the sexy, blonde chick and comes off as the slutty, schmetty bimbo, while relative unknowns Eric Lively and Oliver Hudson will probably fade back into movieland obscurity. But the biggest shocker is tough girl Michelle Rodriguez, who gets arrowed in the leg, abseils over rabid German Sheppards, blows up a building with herself in it, and still manages to save the day.

The actors had all supposedly gone on a week-long dog training course, which didn't seem necessary as all they did was be chased around the spooky island (try to guess which Cape Town location it is).

The only thing funnier than the evil puppies are the American accents faked by South African actors Nick Boraine (our über urban "friend" in the KFC ads) and Lisa-Marie Schneider (the schmodel chick that footskates).

It's quite puzzling why scare king Wes Craven would attach himself as executive producer to this rather docile creature feature masquerading as a horror. I don't care how clever genetically mutated dogs are, they're still just damn dogs!

- Megan Kakora
A creature feature that's all bark and no bite makes for a laughable killer-dog movie.

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