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The Pink Panther

Synopsis:

In this "prequel" to the original Pink Panther series, Jacques Clouseau (played here by Steve Martin) is summoned from the remote village where he serves as the local gendarme (and laughing stock) to crack the biggest case of the decade. France's national football coach has been murdered and his famous diamond ring - the "Pink Panther" - has been stolen. But why would Chief Inspector Dreyfus (Kevin Kline) choose a bumbling yokel to handle such a case? Well, to give his own team room to solve the mystery while Clouseau's ineptitude serves as a smokescreen, of course. But Dreyfus has underestimated Clouseau's deductive powers, not to mention his blind luck.

Review:

Mainstream Hollywood is currently in the grip of a steadily worsening case of Remake Fever, desperately digging up dated and mediocre material like Yours, Mine and Ours and The Honeymooners in the hope of making a quick buck. But none of these projects are as crass, ill-conceived, and, above all, unnecessary as The Pink Panther.

The original Blake Edwards comedies, starring comic genius Peter Sellers, occupy a very special space in many people's hearts. They are by no means great works of art (a couple aren't even very good movies), but they gave birth to one of comedy's greatest characters: the iconic Inspector Jacques Clouseau.

Watching the original films today, you are struck by how creaky and conventional the machinery of the films is, how mired in the conventions of '60s farce they are. Only the incomparable Sellers has not dated. His effortless comic timing, his sense of space and rhythm and his deep understanding of the absurd mean that Clouseau is as funny as ever. Time is perhaps the greatest test of comedy, and the 30-year gap has not blunted Sellers' humour one bit.

Steve Martin, on the other hand, has never been anything but blunt. A broad, stagey comedian, Martin is the polar opposite of Sellers. Both may be physical comedians, but to compare them is to compare a figure skater to an ice hockey player. Sellers' Clouseau was a buffoon, but a dignified, serious, straight-laced buffoon. He was never aware of his own ridiculousness - quite the opposite - and that was a vital part of what made him funny. Martin's Clouseau is terminally self-aware, and his strained antics have the undignified desperation of a performing seal.

As tempting as it is to dismiss the filmmakers as ham-fisted, money-grubbing hacks seeking to trade on a long-dead franchise, it's also not entirely fair. It's very clear that many of the cast and crew, including the writers, producers and director Shawn Levy, hold the original films in high esteem.

But while they haven't set out to plunder them, that is what they have inevitably ended up doing. This is due to lack of ability more than anything else. Head producer Robert Simonds has built a career on broad, formulaic comedies like the smash hit Cheaper By the Dozen. His is not a company that understands or cares about subtlety. This is borne out by his choice of Levy as director and Martin as lead.

The supporting cast does not help the movie's case. The usually excellent Kevin Kline struggles with a bad French accent, not to mention a badly written part. Beyonce "where's that auto-cue" Knowles peddles her usual "I'm a sexy star so I don't gotta act" routine (including a contractually mandated music video). The lovely Emily Mortimer has some engaging moments as Nicole, but without a strong foil her subtle talents dissipate into the background. Only the wonderful Jean Reno seems to realise how undignified the proceedings are, but his performance is as metronomic and professional as always.

As broad comedy goes, we've all seen worse than this new Pink Panther. Martin may not be Sellers, but people who have never seen the original films (or those who hated them) may find his antics amusing. If Just Married is your idea of hilarious, then this Panther will tickle your funny bone. But anyone who cares at all about the classic Panthers should stay well away. To endure Martin prancing around wearing Clouseau's character like an ill-fitting suit is as painful as watching a library of books being burnt for fuel.

- Alistair Fairweather

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