Collide

2017-02-17 09:49
 

What it's about:

Taking a job as a driver, an American backpacker gets involved with a ring of drug smugglers. He winds up on the run from his employers across Munich’s high-speed freeways.

What we thought:

Collide’s release date has been on the move since 2015, marred by the bankruptcy of its first distribution agent Relativity Media and then it just kept getting pushed into obscurity, losing any hype there might have been drummed off for a cheap knock-off of Fast and Furious. Besides the Hollywood bureaucracy, the movie itself is a terribly lacklustre action offering that seems to punish the cast for agreeing to be a part of it. Especially Ben Kingsley. He got saddled with the worst German character to see the light of the screen.

A young American couple living in Europe enjoy their new lives together, but when one (Felicity Jones) is diagnosed with a debilitating illness where surgery comes with a hefty price tag, the other (Nicholas Hoult) decides to return to his previous life of crime to make a quick buck. Cue car crashes and insane German crime boss. 

You might expect something so drab from America, but normally you expect better from Britain. With an armoury of great action films like Snatch, RocknRolla and most Jason Statham films (movie might be terrible but at least Statham knows how to entertain), you would think they couldn’t possibly come up with Collide. I also wonder what story/script were pitched to its cast for them to sign up on it, because I’m sure they were expecting something else. Except maybe for Anthony Hopkins. Besides his amazing performance in Westworld, that man would sign up for anything.

The romance of the film is as commonplace as ever, and the whole reason behind why they can’t get this expensive surgery in a country with better healthcare than the US, is as flimsy as Hoult’s driving skills. The supposed passion between Hoult and Jones is bone dry and superficial, as if they realise halfway that this movie is going to be crap. And then we have Kingsley, and his awful coked up German crime boss complete with fur coat and gold-rimmed glasses. I don’t know whether such Germans even exist, but the bigger question is why Kingsley would put on those awful glasses in the first place. The worst is that Kingsley put his all into the role, and it still couldn’t make it bearable to watch. At least Hopkins reserved his best acting for worthier causes. 

One of the worst action films I’ve ever seen, Collide goes overboard on action clichés, especially car chases and crashes, without the movie really being about cars. Even if you delight in some B-movie fun and humour, Collide is completely devoid of that campy charm. At least Hoult and Jones are pretty to look at.
 


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