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All photos and captions by Jean Barker - Being behind the scenes at a fashion show is a bizarre mixture of things you expect, and things you don't.
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- Just a lot of make-up, and a lot of light, and mirrors – everywhere.
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- For example, nobody appeared to be on cocaine. The models seemed to have no trouble sitting still and nobody was talking much. They all looked thin but healthy, and there was no champagne either.
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- There was a lot of texting going on. Part of me wanted to read the texts. A larger part of me doesn't speak Swedish (or whatever other European tribal dialect happens to be her mother tongue).
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- The models sat around between stages of make-up, hair and clothes paging through magazines and chatting – when they could. It must be pretty lonely to be the one who spoke only Polish, or something.
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- It's quite weird being a normal person in this environment, because even after you've spent ten minutes doing your make-up at home you don't look nearly as good as these girls do without any at all.
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- And the stylists' and make-up artists' jobs is all about making the women look impossibly beautiful - and making them fit with the clothing brand.
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- I previously had no idea how much effort it took to look “tressled / natural” and like you were using "very little product".
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- When I was a kid, I used to really like playing "hairdresser, hairdresser", cause it was so much less invasive than "doctor, doctor". I still miss both.
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- Models appear to be kind of “over that stage” by now. Either that, or this Nastasja Kinski type goddess is just really bored and lonely and is hoping you'll notice her and buy her a drink.
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- Moving on, I'm the kind of girl who believes a “perfect parting” is when the guy doesn't have your email address yet.
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- Perhaps I just need a long needle with a yellow handle to be more like this model... oh and six feet tall, black and gorgeous. Details are such a pain!
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- Clearly we have a culture clash problem, cause the last time I saw someone with rollers in their hair it was in a small town outside a bottle store on a Saturday morning.
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- I think this expression might be the “WTF? Nobody's grooming me? What's cutting here?” look. But what do I know.
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- It's just curlers Everywhere. Oh look, a low-fat drink! Nom nom nom...
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- A luxury dogfood brand called "Cesar" was one of the sponsors.
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- This is dogfood so good that the bergies can't even afford it for Christmas. They gave me some, and I had a hangover, so... well now I have to wax three times day.
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- Not really. About the dogfood, that is. But there were little white dogs going out on the ramp. This is just a random picture of some workers backstage looking at nearly naked men they wouldn't let me photograph.
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- The picture I wasn't allowed to take featuring hot men doing press ups to pump up their muscles and veins before they went onto the ramp, has been replaced with this picture of the plan for the show.
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- Boys will be boys... but sometimes they're Vikings too. So the make up artists not only have to paint them browner, but also remove the scars on their knees, or paint over the pimples caused by continually applying leg make-up.
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- Lost and alone, she wandered the darkness of the backstage area... in search of the Cruel Shoes.
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- If you've ever worn those shoes that models stride around in on the ramps, you'll know they can only sustain it for a few minutes without giving themselves frown wrinkles.
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- So now you know. They don't wear them until the last minute. And that's why you have shortened hamstrings and they still look cool in takkies on saturdays.
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- The clothing rails.
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- Romeo, Romeo... When they called out for him backstage, everybody laughed.
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- So, the fashion business is all about keeping your cool. And although this guy looks like he's panicking in the pictures, it was all very cool. It wasn't like "Romeo, Romeo" at the time.
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- Backstage, seconds before they stride on in suits, someone puts a final touch of gorgousness to the male models.
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- The dogs and their handlers are surprisingly relaxed by comparison.
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- If you didn't know what “being objectified” meant, then now you do.
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- There are the moments of laughter so rare that you'll use a blurred photo to prove they're real.
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- But it's basically a pretty serious business.
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- The show is not over til the thin ladies strut.
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- And the hair needs to look “natural.” Always.
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- Now and then you see a woman who seems like someone you might know
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- Here's a model drying her nails.
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- This, by the way, is what she looks like when she's not drying her nails.
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- Everything perfect needs to be per fect er.
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- And perfecter. I got to say, L'oriel says they're worth it.
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- But I'm not sure the bunnies agree.
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- And perfecter.
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Read Sam Brighton's story about the night's festivities here - And it ended with a bash, which the dogs, placated by little doggie wafer snacks, attended too. The party also had very good people-snacks. It's kind of weird, but if you go outside, it's nice and dark. And by the time you come inside an hour later,
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