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Almost Alice - Various

2010-04-14 13:26
Almost Alice
And yeah, those score thingies can be brain-numbingly dreadful and tend to only appeal to geeks and people looking for suitable music to play at their wedding. Almost Alice is perfectly suited to a younger generation who flocked to see the movie and helped it become one the highest grossing movies this year.

This is a collection that tries hard to cater to all tastes – mostly of the rock variety, because as everyone knows, the story of Alice in Wonderland is just one long, glorious acid trip so expect to be weirded out, coz Robert Smith is on there too.

But first, let's deal with that ear-bleeder known as Avril Lavigne's latest track. Urgh. Tim Burton was definitely chugging o some pretty potent stuff when he allowed this train-wreck to play out over the end credits of his movie. Avril's excruciatingly off-key vocal performance aside, the lyrics are lazy and uninspired too ("Trippin out/ Spinning around/ I'm underground/ I fell down/ Yeah I fell down") and reduces the story to piffling prose reminiscent of Stephenie Meyer.

Flavour-of-the-month Owl City also fails to show any imagination with the vacuous and lackluster "The Technicolor Phase" - which must be really uninspired when the spawn of Billy Ray Cyrus (Trace Cyrus of Metro Station) is able to knock out a more compelling tune. More instantly forgettable tunes by 3oh!3, Shinedown and Estonian Pink-wannabe Kerli take the Wonderland material far too literally, with lyrics about teapots, falling down rabbit holes, pills that make you grow and shrink. The bulk of this soundtrack should not have been entrusted with artists who are just babies in the music industry.

By the time the established acts make their delayed appearance – a bored Robert Smith on "Very Good Advice", Franz Ferdinand with some much-needed drama, a rocking Wolfmother track (at least the Tim Burton connection was good for something) – it's too little too late. But nice try.

Almost Alice is not quirky or cute or particularly fun. It's just a playground filled with a bunch of weird, random kids (the athlete, the basket case, the brain, the princess, the criminal) who have no idea how to use the wonderful toys at their disposal, and decided to trash the place instead.

With names such as Tokio Hotel, Owl City and Metro Station adorning this emo-heavy soundtrack, many fans of the film are likely breathing a sigh of relief. "Thank heavens this isn’t a boring score thingie with all those damn cellos!" you can almost hear them crying in unison as Avril Lavigne lets loose a warble for the ages on theme song "Alice".

What to read next: Kalahari
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