From Ed Jordan, Pop Stars judge and stalwart of SA's flailing pop music scene comes a new collection of old songs called For Always.
The songs are linked by the theme of love, but this is a love so soppy, it stinks like cheap, pink, heart-shaped soaps.
Blessed with a great voice - think Peter Gabriel meets Sting - Ed has no idea how to use his gift. His delivery is stilted, soulless. He stops for breath in the middle of phrases that should flow as one thought. He cuts up his lines with ugly pronunciation. Mind you, with lyrics like "The time had come for him / To say to her / It's time we changed your name / He held her close to him / And they let the love begin" perhaps this is a blessing in disguise.
While many of the musicians Ed uses are accomplished, they're like chefs asked to cook a gourmet meal but presented with brick margarine, Smash, Aromat and a microwave oven. Bravely wading through unimaginative arrangements in synthesised, sanitised suffering, they stand no chance in hell.
Surely this album can't be that bad? Surely there's something to be said for it? Surely it's a matter of taste? I wish I could say that. But this goes way beyond taste.
For argument's sake, let's compare Ed Jordan to Steve Hofmeyr. Why? Because I think Ed is aiming for Steve's English market, and missing.
Missing... everything. Much as some people might dislike Steve Hofmeyr, nobody will deny this: he can sing. Much as sentimentality is boring, I'll admit that Steve writes spot-on, albeit smaltzy pop. And much as Steve eerily resembles an oversized psychotic budgie, he's hot-looking enough to deserve a CD cover to himself.
In short, Steve Hofmeyr is tasteless. But Ed Jordan simply has no taste at all. For Always? More likely for ten minutes, and then straight to that bargain bin at Musica where most SA music goes to die.
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