Hinder - Take it to the Limit

2009-03-06 10:23
 
Take it to the Limit
 
Cheese is good. Cheese is right. I could listen to that song by The Darkness all night long or at least for five minutes on the way outta town. But this Hinder band (Hinder: one of those awkward names) aren't good bad, they're worse.

It's liike listening to nursery rhymes written for 12-year-old alcoholic retards by a German computer programme designed to mass-produced pop-metal hits for drunk boys that go "Uuuuhhh!" a lot. One song is enough to leave me breathless with revulsion. The whole album nearly kills me dead.

On the opening 'featured track', "Use Me", lead band 'member' and 'vocalist' Austin Winkler opens with what sounds like a retch, then drowns you in a stinking pool of rhyming cliches like "She wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire/She said she loves me but I know she's a liar/The sex is good but god she's got no desire." It's so bad it's… bad. Cause here's the thing: c*ck rock's okay, boys, but you need to wash it.
To the limit of what? Oh, Lord save me, save me from these so-called bad boys with their flat Bon Jovi hair, their boozy cover shoot and their grinning groupies. Who listens to this sh*t?

What to read next: Kalahari

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