Madonna – Celebration

2009-09-21 08:49
 
Celebration
 

But just what is it about the Queen of Pop that's made her such an eternal force? Rocket boobs, religious mumblings, or her 'Die Another Day' attitude? In 'Celebration' of her latest hits collection, we're giving you 36 reasons to bask in the Material Girl's Ray of Light.

1. Madonna made the tooth-gap sexy way before True Blood's Sookie
2. She laughs in the face of genres – she is her own genre: just listen to the 36 songs.
3. Talk about prophesying your destiny – "Miles Away", a " Beautiful Stranger" is "Crazy For You".
4. Do you need any more proof that blondes have ALL the fun?
5. Bad 80s fashion needed a strong scapegoat.

6. "Take A Bow" proves that white girls can do R&B too – as long as they have the right knob twiddler.
7. Madge has been giving hope to ugly ducklings the world over since 1983.
8. She makes a 28-year-age gap between her and Jesus Luz decidedly un-creepy.
9. Maybe it's because she's got the body of a 25-year-old.
10. It takes balls to have a toy boy, and the x-rated "Justify My Love" alone proved that Madonna's got them – not in a Semenya kind of way (at least we don't think so).
11. It's no surprise though - she rocked the BOY-TOY belt way back in 1984.
12. Publicly dissing your ex at a concert is tacky, but if the shoe fits…
13. And then hooking up with rapper Lil Wayne on a song called "Revolver" - the same name as your ex's movie, and knowing it will do way better, is hitting him where it hurts.
14. The "Material Girl" told us back in 1985 what most of us are still struggling to accept – "the boy with the cold hard cash is always mister right".
15. There would be no Austin Powers fembots without Madonna's iconic cone bra. There would be no X-tina Aguilera or Sasha Fierce either.

16. Because of her, you know what Kabbalah is….
17. Madonna and Justin Timberlake collaborating on "4 Minutes" – she's doing him the favour.
18. You know all the words to "Like A Virgin" and you're just dying to be "touched for the very first time".
19. "Like A Prayer" is still the gay club anthem, more than 20 years later.  "In the midnight hour, I can feel your power" kinda explains it…
20. Thanks to "Vogue" stiking a pose finally made sense on the dancefloor.
21. She's gracious – she didn't freak out when SA poppies NKD covered "Ray of Light"
22. Probably because she knows her version is still better.
23. And she's not above doing covers herself – giving Don McLean’s "American Pie" an extreme makeover almost made her wholesome again.
24. But then she kissed Britney Spears on stage at the 2003 MTV VMAs - and the wild girl was back; which almost made her celebrity pity potty, American Life tolerable.
25. She's the highest earning female singer on earth.

26. Although she's untouchable, she's not flawless – have you seen her act in "Swept Away"?
27. She's Angelina's only real competition in the super-adopter stakes.
28. She would probably adopt Britney if she could.
29. She's the ONLY woman who can rock a cigarette hanging from her lip.
30. However, that should come with a 'don't try this on your front porch with curlers" warning label.
31. Actually, she could rock any look. Check out the Many Faces of Madonna Photo Gallery.
32. Simply because she didn't give a shit.
33. At 50, she's still a really good dancer
34. "Celebration" is another kickass dancefloor single, proving she still knows how to party
35. She is the definition of reinvention: From Boy-Toy and Bad Girl to Earth Mother, Broadway diva, Bond Babe and back.
36. Madonna is celebrating and so should you!


Madge deserves all the credit, money and toy boys for surviving 27 years in the music industry without being blessed with a particularly good voice. Turns out she never really needed one. Music was just the vehicle she used to sell her wonderful self to the masses.

What to read next: Kalahari
Read more on:    madonna  |  celebration

Marthinus 2009/09/21 11:35 AM
I think it's rude and uncalled for to refer to "balls" in a "Semenya kind of way".
Marthinus 2009/09/21 11:36 AM
I think it's rude and uncalled for to refer to "balls" in a "Semenya kind of way".
PRESHEN GOVENDER 2009/09/22 7:33 AM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Madonna’s husband gave her his credit card and said get a cute sexy black number So she bought a baby from Africa
PRESHEN GOVENDER 2009/09/22 7:34 AM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Madonna’s husband gave her his credit card and said get a cute sexy black number So she bought a baby from Africa
PRESHEN GOVENDER 2009/09/22 7:48 AM
  • Rating:
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Will Caster advertise for Mrs. ball chutney ?
whitetrash 2009/09/22 2:17 PM
F...K, I hate that madonna slut. What a shameless, egotistical, pig. Everything i don't look for in women!!!
NEXT ON CHANNELX
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.