Madonna - Hard Candy

Poor Madonna has set such a standard in shapeshifting that it’s very hard not to be disappointed by the lack of a compelling new persona for the fans to get into. We’re still at the legs open, “check my panties” stage of her career, it seems, and for many that’s not good enough. We wanted Extreme Makeover, and we got just a makeover. The music has evolved, that’s true, but it still feels like she was dragged into the sound of the day by a hot-shot producer while in reality Madge is much more comfortable in her withering dance pop cocoon.

That’s not to say there aren’t a lot of treats to go around in this candy store. “4 Minutes” is pop gold, no small thanks to cameos by the baby hairy-faced Justin Timberlake and Timbaland. Think punishing bass meets marching band meets inna-city R&B blowout and you’re almost there.

The techno throwback “Give It 2 Me” is fun, while the softer step of “Miles Away” with its upbeat guitar sample is her most accessible, chart-friendly melody. Here and there, early and late on the album, are neat little tracks to have fun with, like sampling different choccies from a box of Quality Street. Unfortunately there is no blockbuster hit, excluding “4 minutes”, that we’ll remember a year from now without the help of a clever music video.

Hard Candy does keep Madonna relevant and will rock a party or two, but it’s her own demanding standards that have not been met. It may be time the Queen of Pop started watching her back.

- Niel Bekker