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Matchbox Twenty - Exile on Mainstream

2007-10-10 13:57
So let’s just say Matchbox Twenty are a fashionable band, competent and even. Their trustworthy beats and predictable strumming chug along like a bad James song. Verse CHORUS verse CHORUS aaaaaaargh.

Their lyrics (usually addressed to some bratty girl) lack moments of revelation, originality, or anything else that makes a song essential. It’s not all bad. “These Hard Times” has a passable verse, though how morning “falls like rain” makes about as much sense as making boys cut their hair short when you could just teach them to bloody wash it occasionally.
Now, as a compilation, this isn’t a bad one. It’s got all eleven singles on it, plus five new fairly uniform new songs. For Matchbox-haters this is fantastic, because it’s so much better than listening to all their albums. Actually it’s like listening to all their albums with most of the songs removed. It’s like expecting to have all your limbs cut off and finding out you only have to remove all your fingernails. So it’s awesome. Now Matchbox fans are going to sense antagonism and respond angrily, but don’t listen to them. Matchbox Twenty fans can not be trusted. That’s the truth - and I know this because some of my best friends are Matchbox Twenty fans.

In conclusion: Why don’t they just go away?

- Jean Barker

Exile from mainstream? Oh, you wish. It’s enough to make Keith Richards roll over in his nocturnal oxygen chamber. Reviewing this album is like getting to profile the head girl of your old school. So let the killing begin!

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