Thought the gloom of the high school disco was safely in the past? Not so fast, o child of the 80s. We know there's a bubble skirt in your closet somewhere. And the record company does too. That's why they've remixed Modern Talking's big hits, just for old time's sake. And for the cash. A dental plan like these two tanned Germans have doesn't pay for itself!
Synthetic pyrotechnics, cheesy oohs and aaahs, and inanely singable choruses abound. Think ABBA on crack. Plus these remixes included modernised features, such as rap interludes. "Everybody in the house!" Unfortunately, that's exactly how it goes.
And if you ever wondered what happened to the "heartthrobbish looking guy" called Thomas, the answer is bratwurst and schnitzel possibly. He's looking rather jowly. Then again, don't we all, compared to the fresh faced things we were under all that eyeshadow and lip gloss we wore to look as much as possible like the stars of Loving?
As a special treat for fans, they've included a previously unreleased track. "Down on My Knees", which includes these jaw-dropping lyrics: "Love is a lonesome river / It's like a violin".
So, were you among the legions of Modern Talking fans? Did The Band with the Dental Plan and the Orange Tan make you all gooey? Did you trek to Sun City to watch them effectively break the anti-apartheid cultural embargo? Could you be the child of parents whose hearts beat faster at the sight of the dishy one's picture pasted into a school diary? And was he really a woman?
- Jean Barker
WHAT OTHER CRITICS SAID
"They look like escapees from Madam Tussaud's."- Alistair Fairweather (26) (MWEB Movies Editor)
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