Paris Hilton - Paris

2009-01-09 12:52
 
 
There’s not much we haven’t heard from (or in fact seen of) Paris Hilton. In one sense she is an enigma of absolutes: Absolute confusion, absolute arrogance and absolute exemption from public vitriol, despite some of the most insulting celebrity faux pas on record. She has made a name for herself by playing on the reputation of her own spectacle, and like it or not, it has worked for her.

Unfortunately for the world in general, the circus continues with the predictably named Paris. You shudder to think what early pre-production meetings might have been like, with Hilton offering delectable insights like: “I’m so hot, if I make a record everyone will want it”. And producer Scott Storch thanking his lucky stars he took the advance payment.

But in the end it’s pure, unadulterated bubblegum pop – as vanilla as they get. That’s what Storch has delivered, and for Hilton it’s a vehicle that kinda fits. It isn’t particularly challenging or groundbreaking, and as a result it is never as horrid as its mere suggestion.

Storch paints everything with a brush the size of Hilton’s list of shags, as everything from Kelly Clarkson to Gwen Stefani to Cyndi Lauper gets a ripoff. But he gets away with underproducing a lot of it, strangely, and makes inventive choices along the way – there’s even a lapsteel guitar sampled on “Not Leaving Without You”, a shoutout to Hilton’s redneck constituency, perhaps?

As derivative as songs like “Heartbeat” and the “Grease”-sampled “I Want You” may be, they’re delivered with such plasticity it’s hard to tell the Hilton from the Synthesiser. Again, this is a good thing. Because it achieves the aim of bubblegum pop – clean and without any rough edges. Never before has the phrase “making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear” been more meaningful in pop music.

And despite all this distraction, no-one can accuse Hilton of hiding her regard for herself. On “Fightin Over Me” – a simple-minded jab at some light crunk – Jadakiss and Fat Joe attempt to bring street cred to the penthouse. Except that in its floppy, flaccid chorus Hilton declares without a hint of irony: “Everytime I step out the house they wanna fight over me/ Maybe ‘cos I’m hot to death and I’m so so so sexy.” Shiyat! Them 'ho's be trippin.

- Anton Marshall
Look, it’s Paris friggin Hilton. So anything more than the apocalypse on CD is an achievement. And yet, as if by a strange twist of altered realities, this is a fairly decent bargain bin pickup.

What to read next: Kalahari

simone 2006/10/31 6:32 AM
holy macaroni!!! I'm gobsmacked. This almost as bad as Milli Vanilli. The only consolation is that it keeps my 9 year old fascinated.
Wessel 2006/10/31 7:50 AM
Wow! Paris Hilton; Paris France or Parys in the Free State. They all have something magical about them. A definite positive aura - 10/10 Paris Hilton. As long as they talk about you, you're right there. Not that you may care. Go girl!!!
Jesus 2006/10/31 10:20 AM
Paris fever This girl absolutely is da bomb. She's a superstar in her own right & it matters none that she can't sing or dance or act. What matters is that she has everyone talking about her. The more we see of her the more we like her...too true. And, my god, she is so damn hot...
CHICHI 2006/10/31 10:59 AM
THE GURL YOU LUV 2 HATE...MWAH THIS IS WHAT WE ALL WERE TOLD NOT 2 BE, HOW NOT 2 BEHAVE AND WHAT NOT TO SAY........POWER 2 YOU PARIS YOU BREAKING THE "PRETTY GURL" IMAGE AND DOING ALL THE THINGS YOU SHOULDNT.....THE BEST THING IS ANY GURL WOULD LUV 2 BE YOU!!!
Slamdunk 2006/10/31 1:11 PM
Take off her Romeo's Paris is merely regurgitating what our Anneline also tried and failed to do - make people believe that she is something more than just a good body or a good lay with money behind her. Sadly, neither succeeded.
Phebe 2006/10/31 1:19 PM
It starts!! " Just do it " should be Paris' motto not Nike !! I think she just does things she would like to and somehow always pulls it off... I'm not a Paris fan... but you just got to love her zest for life and "just do it" attitude.. question is... will people still love Paris in the morning ?
Caronne 2006/10/31 1:43 PM
I ACTUALLY HAVE THIS ALBUM OKAY OKAY stop laughing already!!! We cannot deny the fact that good money buys brilliant production, this is a clean cut pop princess album. Good job to the poor guys that produced it!!!
DJLEA 2006/10/31 3:13 PM
PARIS HILTON I THINK SHE IS VERY GOOD LOOKING AND A GREAT BOD BUT AS FAR AS SINGING IS CONCERNED NOT MY TYPE.
clair 2006/10/31 4:23 PM
ear plugs plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz somone get me a pair of ear plugs firsly i would like to say sumthing to paris DO NOT SING realy i love the way she dresses and her style but frekin hel my sister loves her and every blimmin morning i gotta listen to her whinning [obscenity deleted]en voice
Jesus 2006/10/31 5:10 PM
fantastic....fantastic A modern woman who uses the world as her playground....what a lovely body & assets, sexy as hell....who cares if she sings well or not....u rock Ms Hilton!!!
johan lak 2006/10/31 5:20 PM
In love Last night I went to my friend( a guy) his name was Voel Slabbeer and I actually caught him listenig to Paris new cd. So even the guys seems too kile her tunes!
Toy 2006/10/31 8:03 PM
WTF? Eish.. cant believe! This is the most ridiculous review Ive seen in awhile!!!!
rafiq 2006/10/31 8:22 PM
i am obsessed with this very seductive thing i love white white woman cause they dont wsh thier filthy white asses and they are the best in sex
Travis 2006/10/31 8:36 PM
Paris Absolutely brilliant!! Paris Hilton Rocks like no one on earth!!!!!!!
Boss 2006/10/31 9:18 PM
The Best YES The Best The ICON that rocks. Yes Paris is very intertaining.
Boss 2006/10/31 9:18 PM
The Best YES The Best The ICON that rocks. Yes Paris is very intertaining.
rafiq 2006/10/31 9:45 PM
she "s gorgous but i think maria sharapova is much more sexier paris is fine , but nobody will touch maria the sex symbol sharapova. sharapova has natural sex appeal especiaaly when she is sweating. i just love sharapova . she is young and probably or hopefully still a virgin which i am in doubdt
Pascale Q. 2006/11/01 8:47 AM
Paris ROCKS there must be something wrong with everyone becauseParis ROCKS
babalwa 2006/11/02 2:20 PM
music tsidi ndifuna undlalele u khululwa upiwe doll and my mom ingoma ethi sexy love
Jessica 2006/11/02 7:49 PM
The best music that i have heard for quite awhile I love her music. It is very good. I love the songs I do not know why hardly anyone likes it.
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