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Four Factor: Clingons of SA rock

2007-05-28 11:49

This week's Four Factors are...
Past glory Could this star - at the peak of their career - have started a church on a farm and persuaded young virgins to sacrifice themselves? (10 points)

Hair here? Is there any? Is there too much? Where does it grow and what does it mean? (10 points)

Quoteability There's no point in being from the past if you can't tell a good story. (10 points)

Representin' Who - if anyone - wants to listen to them now, and how long does this audience have to live? (10 points) STEVE HOFMEYR
Past glory Well, it depends what you mean by "persuaded young virgins", and whether they need to be real virgins, or just blonde on the inside. - 9

Hair here? It's there, it's thinning, it's probably beginning to appear on his head in places other than his scalp. He'll pass for 40. - 7

Quoteability "To become me you have to work hard. You have to have at least three illegitimate children, have had a lot of sex for the first five years of your career, and do a lot of TV and movies. It’s a hell of a job.” - 10

Representin' He may (politically) represent many Blou Bul supporters and wenwe's who've left South Africa - types who consider a small tax on high emission luxury vehicles to be equal to Apartheid's oppression... On the plus side, these people do actually buy CDs. (Until they figure out how to burn them.) - 6
- Steve on video - watch these amazing interviews
- Earlier text interview with onse Steve

Past glory Depends who you believe, but his girlfriends are still the same age as his daughters... - 6

Hair here? It's greying late, it's somewhat moisturising, it's long. This hairstyle went out in the late seventies, but when you're his age, you don't risk a cut. - 7

Quoteability "It's either ego, girls, or money - that's why bands break up.” - 6

Representin' You haven't heard of him? You haven't heard of Durban? That's all partly Durban's fault. Syd's audience has no age and no set race. But it's an odd following in the pop world - one that loves music. - 7
Video- Syd in the new Volvo S80
MP3 Downloads - get one free, here

Past glory He does have a kind of mythical appeal, being the son of Pik and the brother of Lien the artist. He still has a spot at the Oppikoppi bar and women like TALKING to him. His blues has that devil's music appeal. But mass suicides aren't his bag. - 6 points

Hair here? Everywhere. It keeps you warm; you know... - 6

Quoteability If you're talking interviews, it's kind of low. "Bands never seem to last beyond the five-year limit, because it's very hard to make a career, especially in the rock field". - 4

Representin' White men of his own age love him, struggle-bunnies too, and you'll see the crowds of young drunken things cheering at Oppikoppi too. Best live... and he's only 51. Does his niche market doom him to tour and tour and tour... - 6
- Our 2006 interview with Piet
- Downloads - MP3s from Jack Hammer

Past glory Well, she sure persuaded a lot of people to drink Coca-Cola. Few male journalists came away from an interview without love in their heart. But without the pennywhistle, would we follow her anywhere? - 7

Hair here? She's fine for hair, being female, and we're guessing she shaves in all the appropriate places. - 8

Quoteability “I've thought ‘I wonder if I'm boring.’ And then I think to myself, ‘You know what? I don't care.’” She's interesting - perhaps more interesting than some of her solo work. Unfortunately she won't make you laugh out loud. - 7

Representin' There isn't a big market for left wing, racially tolerant music made by white women over the age of 30. This is a sad truth, a truth about sexism perhaps. We haven't heard from her in ages... Those she represents don't buy her CDs anymore - but Mango Groove? We'll all groove to that forever. Mango Groove are reformed, have released an album, and are for hire online - 6
- Our 2004 interview with Claire
- We review her album, Africa Blue

Past glory Huge and trendy, with Voëlvry, Die Swart Kombuis, and a whole lot of great rebel stuff. However, in those days he was more interested in sleeping on your couch and drinking your Tassies than world domination - 5

Hair here? Very little if any at all, but he makes a style statement of that - 7

Quoteability High, and he tells great stories "[Christmas is] a terrible time of year. Ha ha ha. It never snows. You get all these Christmas cards with snow on and it never snows." - 8

Representin' Koos remains relevant, once by struggling against apartheid, now by providing a disgruntled critical suburban voice for those who're concerned that things are going to fall apart under the ANC. It's never going to reach as big a market at Steve's - being too complex for the masses. But he can always make a living - 7
- We record "Reconciliation Day" and interview Koos on video
- Podcast and "Fokkol" recording
- Way back: text interview with Koos

Steve: 32,
Piet: 22,
Claire: 28,
Syd: 26,
Koos: 27

And the Winner Is
Steve Hofmeyr... which is surprising. Though record sales do back up the results.

- Jean Barker

Steve Hofmeyr, Syd Kitchen, Piet Botha, Koos Kombuis and Claire Johnston battle it out for the title of 80's Clingon. Who's survived the best, and who's in need of retirement?

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