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In a beautiful written piece for the New York Times, Trevor Noah paints a picture of his childhood with his mother

Four Factor: Former 5fm DJs

2007-06-22 12:10

The four factors are:
Howard Stern Factor: Was this DJ fired for being boring and old fashioned, or did he get booted for pissing someone off in order to amuse us? (10 points)

Future Factor: Do they whine about how people "no longer appreciate good music", meaning rock, or have they moved with the afro-pop times? (10 points)

Pop Factor: Do they have a big, young audience? (10 points)

Webwise factor: Can they sell themselves online, and if and when radio and web merge completely, could they broadcast to people like you via the internet? (10 points)


Howard Stern Factor: Deported for having a fake SA ID, his attempts to return failed partly because of a dodgy car purchase. In 2006 he became Swaziland’s King Mswati III's media advisor. Unfortunately, having few principles doesn't equal entertainment value. (5)
Future Factor: Anyone who's done time explaining why some aging old dictator should be able to force underage virgins to marry him while bleeding his country dry belongs in the past. (1)
Pop Factor: Ah... Tich who? (2)
Webwise factor: We can't even find him on facebook. (0)


Howard Stern Factor: Famous for living with his mother and walking his dogs in the 80s, Barney was just like one of the kids, because he also went out and got smashed on the weekends. No nudity, though, and the rebel act seems a bit tired now. (5)
Future Factor: His nickname Barney the Dinosaur stuck, partly because he rejected the "urban" movement a few years ago. (3)
Pop Factor: They love him at Tuks, and he's done a great deal to keep SA rock in the limelight. But how big is his reach? (6)
Webwise factor: He's online and involved with Powerzone and on the TuksFM site, but his presence is pretty low-tech. (6)
Read the Interview

Howard Stern Factor: He's vanilla, don't be fooled by this "bandit" stuff. You can't have a DJ called "Richardson". (2)
Future Factor: Can't have a DJ called Richardson? Wrong! You can, on Jacaranda's 80s Party Hour. But he's also embraced the future, and stays ahead of dance music trends. (6)
Pop Factor: The mainstream 5fm listeners dug him and he still brings out albums and plays big parties. (6)
Webwise factor: His Sound Republic website offers podcasts (massive, 70-odd MB) and he also uses our MP3 downloads section to self-market. All it lacks is more spirited copy and a bit of bite. (9)
- CD review: Big Tunes and Funky Remixes
- Review: Chill Out
- Download or listen to Derek "The Bandit's" latest free MP3


Howard Stern Factor: Back in the dark days of radio, when it was still Radio 5, Alex was definitely a handful. He also had a rep for partying, and we don't mean just the odd Jay. Now he digs comedy, but someone has to get him off that stage - he's not a great laugh-man himself. (2)
Future Factor: Highveld Stereo... it's not really The Future, but it's solid work if you can get it. (4)
Pop Factor: He'll always be popular with those for whom he represented some hope in a very conservative world. But his support base is dying of old age, or flying overseas faster than you can say "expat". (6)
Webwise factor: You'll be able to find him online, but only on one page of Highveld's website. (9)

Total Score
Tich Mataz - 8
Barney Simon - 20
Derek the Bandit - 23
Alex J - 21

Drum role please...

The winner is
Derek the Bandit! That was close, but no banana for Barney …

- Jean Barker

Tich Mataz, Barney Simon, Derek the Bandit, and Alex J battle it out for the title of "Former 5fm DJ with a future in SA".
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