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Four Factor: Rockingest Rockers

2007-05-09 16:27

We rated the Angry Young Men of South Africa in some key categories.

Angry: Crous’s "hoender"(man) may sound peeved, but it is a chicken. And it may be laughing its head off behind the shades - 6
Young: If by "young" you mean born after the signing of the Magna Carta - 6
Men: Big, manly men. Blom is about nine feet tall. - 10
With hair: Lots of it. Think Pantene sponsorship. - 9
We say: Wie is Kobus? Hulle is main. Actually one of the most misunderstood bands in the country. - 8
Listen to "Doodstraf", off the new album. Then download it for free.

Angry: Kinda sorta, but with poetry. The voice of a lost generation of nice Afrikaans kids. - 7
Young: Pushing it, though mostly on the right side of 30. - 7
Men: We’re not so sure about Francois Van Coke, but we’ll take their word for it. - 8
With hair: Established neo-mod. Again, for nice Afrikaans kids - 8
We say: Now sadly defunct, but worthwhile as an artefact of new urban Afrikaner youth. - 7
Review: Monoloog in Stereo
Review: Swanesang
Free MP3 Downloads Taxi Violence
Angry: Violence of this nature is not so much angry as calculated – 6
Young: Next year they start shaving. - 9
Men: Reasonably mannish. Bonus! They’ve got the boyish charms that make girlies go weee! - 9
With hair: Little Nicky has a shaved head. The rest are stylish in Rolex of Rock kinda way - 6
We say: They sing in English. They are the ’91 BMW 320 Convertible of SA rock. - 8
review, free mps, a video, the lot

Angry: Very angry. But most grandmas who hear them are angrier. - 9
Young: Next year they start shaving. No, wait! - 9
Men: Nope. But they tell us they like men. And farming. - 4
With hair: er… - 7
We say: Potential to become famous for the wrong reasons, but very convincing musically. - 8
We made a video of a photoshoot. Not THAT kind of photoshoot. Well, not exactly. Somebody did get down to their underwear.

How they scored: /50
Kobus! - 39
Fokofpolisiekar - 37
Taxi Violence - 38
Rokkeloos – 37

Very… VERY close. But our ultra-scientific method scored Kobus! on top by one. What do you think?

- Anton Marshall

This week’s four-way dance pits a quad of contestants in the ring, vying for the label of Most Rockingest Afrikaner Rockers.
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