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Four Factor - Singer-Songwriter Boys

2007-05-16 12:38

Brand Name
Does his name sound like his parents smoked something, preferably something organic. Don't think "Rock Hudson", think more "Cloude Roper".

Wet Factor
Do you feel like he understands you, like nobody ever has before? Do you want to care for him, love him? (Basically, will your boyfriend hate him?)

Torture factor:
Every successful singer-songwriter needs enough pain for a full career - or an album, at least.

Peter Pan Factor:
Will this boy still look good at 40? It can take years of playing small fleapits before those chamber pop records start selling.


Brand Name: J does sound like something you could smoke... - 2
Wet: If you're very normal, he's your special guy. In fact, thousands of people are likely to believe they and J have a special understanding - 9
Tortured: The album is mainly about sexual rejection, so torture, yes, but not in a good way - 6
Peter Pan Factor: If he were dog, he'd be a labrador - he runs the risk of putting on weight by age 32 - 6
We say: "This album is the result of what a four-year crush will do to any man."
- We review his CD, Closure
- J Interview podcast
- J MP3 Download "Down Again" (Accoustic Version)

Brand Name: Yip, it sounds like his parents were on drugs - 10!
Wet: He can be a little emotionally distant, even mature at times, but his good looks and trendy clothes more than compensate - 8
Tortured: Not personally, but if he asks you to, you'll pull out the whips and chains - 4
Peter Pan Factor: He's got the kind of good looks that only grow better, well, at least until someone's boyfriend punches him - 8
We say: "...his future may only be assured if he can discover and grow some exceptionally original element of his sound."
- We review his CD, Closure
- Farryl Purkiss plays the sin Sloth at a photoshoot
- We review his album


Brand Name: Tristan... ok, that's good. Water... good. Kyn? Perhaps if you spelled it 'cane' - 7
Wet: Very, but it's not about you, it's about Tristan. And curls, and sunlight and sea - 8
Tortured: No. When people say "Africa is not for sissies", they don't mean Cape Town coffeeshops are dangerous - 2
Peter Pan Factor: He's young, and good looking with a few years on his side compared to the others - 8
We say: Either the new Robin Auld or the new Tod Lightfoot. Todd who? Exactly.
- Download his single for free here


Brand Name: Hmm, it is a little twisted-sounding - 7
Wet: "The Letch" has a way with words and music. You'll ache to stroke his hair and share secrets. But keep your bra on - he's not really interested - 8
Tortured: Extremely and you'll feel you are too, after listening for a while. He's that good - 10
Peter Pan Factor: He's never looked "young and hot" although many would consider him beautiful. - 4
We say: A specialist taste, because most people are stupid.
- We loved his new album, Frieze


Brand Name: Not bad. But it lacks foliage - 7
Wet: Not particularly. Though he's probably got his share of girl fans, most SNAG boyfriends will think he's a nice guy - 6
Tortured: Only during the 80s. Now he seems uncomfortably relaxed about life - 4
Peter Pan Factor: Aging well, but he would have scored higher if he were 25 - 4
We say: James should never have entered this competition. His destiny lies elsewhere.
- James Stewart MP3 Downloads
- Get James Stewart on your mobile

SCORES (out of 40 points)
J - 23
Farryl Purkiss - 30
Tristan Waterkyn - 25
Chris Letcher - 29
James Stewart - 21

And the Winner is...
By one point, Farryl Purkiss, with Chris Letcher nearly tipping him from the top spot.

Gallery: See for yourself

- Jean Barker
This week in Four Factor: Which of SA's English singer-songwriter boys makes all the girls cry... and some of the boys too? Chris, J, Farryl and James take the test.

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