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Four Factor: The Real Makoya

2007-09-17 14:33
This week's four factors rated out of 10 are:

Signature factor: Everyone has their own signature. Who isn’t hard to miss? Who steals the show? Who is entertaining, funny and original?

Referee factor: Can they all blow the whistle or is this just an opportunity to be in the limelight? Do they know what they are talking about? Are they musically inclined? Simply put: can these judges do their job?

Hit-the-road factor: Who has uttered the most painful verdict?

Before-and-After factor: Some of the judges already had household-name status before Idols, but who has gained popularity because of it? And who has over-stayed his welcome and is clinging on to their 15 minutes of fame?

The Idols Judges are:

Gareth Cliff:
Who's who profile

Signature factor: Gareth is well-known for his witty character, his devil-my-care approach to life, and the infamous ‘Jesus’ role-playing that got him suspended from 5fm! He pretty much says anything he pleases, a quality that keeps viewers glued to the TV, waiting to hear what garbage will come out of his mouth this time. The only problem is that our friend Gareth likes the sound of his voice too much. Maybe he thinks Idols is an extension of his weekday morning show on 5fm. 9

Referee factor: His immaturity and childlike wisdom does not only add humour to the show but falls mostly on well-deserving ears. Gareth may not be a singer himself but because of his experience in the entertainment industry he knows when someone is not an entertainer. His rude, funny and sarcastic comments would leave anyone dented for life if you didn’t know that he’s just being himself: brutally honest. 8

Hit-the-road factor: “...I don't think you are as good a singer as you think you are. There are people with natural talent...for them to sing is easy, for you I can see you are trying hard. I can see that and I respect that, I really do. But you are not as good a singer as you think you are.” 8

Before-and-After factor: Fortunately for him he was already well-known for his raw tongue on radio before he made his debut on Idols 2. He’s been in the music and entertainment industry for over a decade and a director for One-on-One for two years. So yes, he’s got some corporate clout. 8

Dave Thompson:
Who's who profile

Signature factor: Dave has his moments of sarcasm which are absolutely hilarious. He is usually a straight to the point kind of judge and also strives to give constructive criticism when he can. 7

Referee factor: Even though he can be very sarcastic and mean, we know he’s doing it because he cares. He knows what kind of star SonyBMG is looking for and is on a mission not to let great talent pass him by. An industry veteran, he knows what sells records and what doesn’t. 8

Hit-the-road factor: “Nicolaaah, the psychotic serial Idols auditioner, what do you plan on singing?” 9

Before-and-After factor: Dave has been in this industry for 30 years. Word has it he knows the music business like the back of his hand. He started his career in retail and is currently the Marketing Director at SonyBMG. Talk about moving up the ladder! While he’s always been a behind-the-scenes kind of guy, Idols has certainly put him in the spotlight. This season he even has a new funky, celebrity hairstyle and cute grey-goatee to match! 6

Mara Louw:
Who's who profile

Signature factor: Mara is kind, sincere and very loving. She’s the rose amongst thorns in the judging panel. She is like the mother who tries to break it to you gently but every now and again, will surprise you with a harsh statement. Be on the look-out for that look of disbelief on her face or her sprinkled squeaky laugh when you are really hopeless. 8

Referee factor: Since she’s the only one amongst all the judges who can actually sing and has the CV to prove it, her judgement should be taken more seriously. After all, she didn’t start her singing career at 10 for nothing. She has the perfect ear for pitch and voice technique making her the most suitable judge for the job. Unfortunately her quietness on the show does not earn her much attention in an Idols world where rudeness and sarcasm makes you the real deal. 9

Hit-the-road factor: “Aikhona, sisi, Aikhona” 10

Before-and-After factor: On top of being well-known for her character in Muvhango, Mara has shared stages with some of the world’s top performers, she won Best Female Vocalist award (1984) and has toured Japan, The Phillipines and England with ‘Meropa’. And she even had the privilege of singing for Queen Elizabeth. Looks like Idols needed her more than she did. 10

Randall Abrahams:
Who's who profile

Signature factor: Known as ‘Mr Evil’ or ‘Mr Nasty’, Randall is down-right mean and malicious! A bit of Simon Cowell clone, Randy is out to get you, so don’t even think otherwise. Even the viewers think his rudeness is uncalled for at times. 7

Referee factor: Like Cowell, Randy says the things that we are too scared to say or hear. But sometimes he is too egotistical to give anyone a chance. He is apparently known as one of SA’s music brains, he’s well-versed in current entertainment trends and knows what is top-of-the-charts talent. But could he be more subtle? 5

Hit-the-road factor: “If I had a choice between listening to you and an electric chair, guess which one?” 10

Before-and-After factor: Randall who? Sure he is a top-notch radio executive, he is 5FM’s Station Manager and he was the Chairperson of National Associations of Broadcasters but did anybody know him before his debut on Idols? This bad-guy image has women flocking to Idols just to get closer to him. No wonder he keeps coming back for more. ‘Mr Stone-Cold’ has been around since the inception of SA Idols, doesn’t he think its time to let go? 5

Scores (out of 40)

Gareth Cliff – 33
Dave Thompson – 30
Mara Louw – 37
Randall Abrahams – 27

And the award for the Real Makoya Judge goes to…Mara Louw.

Tiisetso Tlelima

Without those bloodthirsty judges constantly ripping off contestants, would anybody watch Idols? Of course not! They ridicule those who can't sing, they bruise many egos vomiting ludicrous phrases as they go along and they even went as far as comparing one participant's singing to a squealing cat. But what if the tables were suddenly turned? What if they were at the other end of the spectrum? Who would be crowned the judge of all time?
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