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Idols: Local Is Luke Warm

2007-11-06 17:34
The Clips
- The Live Mash Up
- Andriette
- Bjorn
- Carla
- Daniel
- Jody
- Munro
- Tender

Stop Press: Carla Voted Out
- Carla

Each contestant picked a local song to perform, and surprisingly, they all did it relatively well. At least, the moments of wishing someone in the audience had a tranquiliser gun were few and far between.

The contestants also graced us with more information about their unspeakably boring little lives. Yes, they’re young, but is that really any excuse to be so dull? Perhaps it’s because they mostly seem to come from dull places. Carla Louw comes from Pretoria, which she describes as her favourite place in South Africa. How high do you have to be before you start liking Pretoria? Perhaps a urine test is in order here.

Andriëtte Norman comes from the suburban nightmare that is Brackenfel Brackenfell, Daniel Büys from the depressing wastelands of Bryanston and Munro du Toit comes from George – and deserves to. During his segment he offered this little gem about his girlfriend: “Well, you know she’s a biochemist so she’s a bit of a geek, so I think she’s into me because I can play guitar and I think I’m into her for the money.” He’s joking of course, but that doesn’t make his comment any less retarded. In fact, none of the contestants interview very well. This is a skill they’re going to have to learn if they achieve any level of success in the music industry. So probably not.
First up was Carla with a pretty decent Claire Johnston imitation and a controlled performance that was more stylish and less overdosed on Gummi Berry Juice than usual. Jody Williams, who bombed out in the last two shows did a pretty decent job this time round. So did Andriëtte. So did Tender Mavundla. See how boring this is getting? Just over halfway through the show and you’re almost wishing Mara would go postal again, or that someone would throw a pie. At Munro. A pie with an anvil in it. That would be awesome.

Björn Blignaut did his usual so-cool-I-can-slide-uphill routine - perhaps a bit too full of himself to pull out his best performance. Overconfidence coupled with a killer pimp attitude can be pretty annoying. Someone should tell him that before he gets bitch slapped. Next up was the droopy-eyed Daniel Büys, dressed like your typical boy next door – if you happen to live next to a Jehovah’s Witnesses youth centre. He’s so clean cut he could be a character on Dawson’s Creek. Anyway, he did pretty well too.

Finally, Munro once again graced us with a performance that you either loved or made you wish the television was off and you were in a coma. Every week Munro outdoes himself and produces the hammiest performance in the history of the planet. How does he do it? Perhaps we should acquire this information. It might be useful in ending his reign of terror. Just a thought.

Next week, Idols delivers a fresh Hell to your home. With only six contestants remaining, they will now start singing TWO songs each. Yes, that’s two chances per show for each contestant to once again demonstrate what we all already know about them anyway. Perhaps instead of singing an extra song they should be brushing up on their interview skills, or maybe even getting a life, so that they’ll have something to say once the cameras start rolling.

- Chris McEvoy

After last week’s brain-stabbingly awful performances, the not-so-magnificent seven returned with another attempt at winning our hearts and minds – this time with a South African themed show.

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