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In a beautiful written piece for the New York Times, Trevor Noah paints a picture of his childhood with his mother

Love Songs for Creeps - Love Songs for Creeps

2006-03-30 15:35

Everybody Knows - The Divine Comedy
If there ever was a title to bestow, the Award for Best Collection of Creepy Songs about Love would go to The Divine Comedy's "A Short Album About Love". Naturally. It's hard to choose one to demonstrate the surreal chilling that some of these lyrics invoke, but here's a short example... hahaha...ahem.

I told all of my friends again and again and again
I drove them round the bend so now you're my only friend
I told the passers by, I made a small boy cry
And I'll get through to you if it's the last thing that I do
Everybody knows I live for you
Everybody knows I adore you
Everybody knows that it's true except you

Poison - Alice Cooper
Uncle Alice is creepy, but he's creepy for the wrong reasons these days. In any case, here's an anthem that revelers from many generations still sing together. Whether or not they know what it means.

I want to love you but I better not touch (don't touch)
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much (too much)
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison

Creep - Radiohead
Technically, if you know you're a weirdo, you may not be a weirdo. Or maybe it just makes you doubly weird. In this case we're talking about Thom Yorke. We could say he's a weirdo, but he probably breaks journalists' legs, so we're not going to say any more.

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so (beep) special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

Every Breath You Take - Police
If you look at these old videos now, you realize that Sting seemed to bring an artsy, literary, romantic sense to the words. But think of barefoot drummer Stewart Copeland while reciting these lyrics, and a cold shiver runs up your spine...

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you

Peek a Boo - Siouxsie + the Banshees
Well, let's see. This song was inspired by someone playing a previous track backwards. So the band learned to play the track to make it sound like it was playing backwards. Confused? That was before they added the lyrics.

Creeping up the backstairs
Slinking into dark stalls
Shapeless and slumped in bathchairs
Furtive eyes peep out of holes
She has many guises
She'll do what you want her to
Playing dead and sweet submission
Cracks the whip deadpan on cue

Run for your Life - The Beatles
Oh boy. The Rubber Soul album had its share of Beatles legacy, but this little sidestep might have freaked out some former girlfriends. Or current ones.

Well I'd rather see you dead, little girl
than to be with another man
You better keep your head, little girl
or I won't know where I am
You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end'a little girl

Dance Hall Days - Wang Chung
So there's this guy and he's talking to you about how you should treat your baby. And as he's talking you get the feeling that you may have to make an excuse and get out of there real soon, because this guy is a WIERDO! Hel-lo.....?

Take your baby by the hand
And make her do a high handstand
Then take your baby by the heel
And do the next thing that you feel

King Leer - Morrissey
The climax - so to speak - of this song, is when Stephen attempts to impress the object a third time (previous attempts have failed) and this time he's brought a weapon. A typically understated Morrissey... weirdo!

Your boyfriend, he
Has displayed to me
More than just a
Real hint of cruelty
I tried to surprise you
I crept up behind you
With a homeless chihuahua
You "coo"-ed for an hour
You handed him back and you said
"You'll never guess - I'm bored now"

Happy Together - The Turtles
When you think about the sentiments being expressed in songs like this, and then you try it out on your prospective sweetheart, you realise two things: just how imaginative songwriters can be...; and why it's never a good idea to try this stuff in real life.

Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it's only right
To think about the girl you love, and hold her tight
So happy together
If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me, and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together
I can't see me loving nobody but you
For all my life

- Anton Marshall

Hey, there are love songs, and there are love songs. And then there are those songs that just creep you out. Putting aside the world's most famous murder ballads (that's a separate article completely), here are some songs that put the "sigh" in "psychotic".
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