Overheard at Splashy Fen 2009

In-between all the mud, Sharks fans and sunshine, a lone bongo drum plays a send off to no one, somewhere in the distance. Meanwhile, back at the beer tent, people are talking like there's no one listening. But there's always someone listening…

Gallery: See pictures of the crowds, the characters and the bands

You’re only as old as the woman you feel
Syd Kitchen: “So, what do you think of my bokkie? Lekker, huh?”

Not selling a dead horse, this time
Burger Express Salesman: “Don’t worry, the cow is dead. It won’t bite you.”

The Sanitech of love
Patient Blonde: “I’m waiting for my boyfriend, he’s having a shit. Hurry up babe!”

Cheetahs prosper
Depressed Sharks Fan: “I’m so over my life right now. Suicide. That’s what I’m talking about.”

Something borrowed, someone blue
Ex-bridesmaid: “You’ve turned into such a bitch since you got engaged.”

The dedication station
Syd Kitchen: “This song’s for Jacob Zuma. You… you… you’ve got everybody believing in you.”

Haggis & Bong: “This song goes out to anyone with Celtic genes.”

Jacques (The Shadowclub): “This song goes out to my beautiful girlfriend Tamara.”
Crowd: “Aw…”
Black Label t-shirt: “If I was a chick, I’d be bummed right now.”

A cause for great concern
Chris Chameleon: “The fact that this song can be a hit anywhere in the world is a cause for great concern.”

Best before…
James: “What did you think of Squeal?”
William: “Passed their sell by date for me.”

Childs play
Brandon: “Did you see that lightie band? Their guitars were out of tune, but it was so rad.”
Sheldon: “They played ‘Stand By Me.’ Those kids butchered that song!”

The grass is always greener, the Coke is always blacker
Random babe walking by: “I wish Prime Circle was playing. Aren’t they at Coke Fest?”

Quotes to live by
Marky Mark: “60% of the time, it works every time.”
Jewsburg: “Did you see what God just did to us, man?”
Wayne: “We’ve gone on holiday by mistake!”

Globophobia
Amanda: “Only two things scare me: horses and balloons.”
Ryan: “Oh no, why do balloons scare you?”
Amanda: “Well, out of control balloons.”

True love
Heaving shirtless jock gets consoled: “He was tuning my chick, bra. You know I wouldn’t just take on five guys like that for nothing.”

Splashy Fen or bust!
Loopy, on stage with Fruits & Veggies: “What’s up Splashy Fen? We made it through the roadblocks!”
Brad: “They didn’t have sniffer dogs, these guys had a sniffer cop!”
Jayne: “The cop was holding our shampoo bottle full of shrooms. Oh… my… God, I nearly died.”

Ice-olation…
Skeg at 3am: “The bar looks empty, like a crop field that’s been cut down.”

Freaks of nature
Dai: “Jeez, the freaks were really out last night. I had Lantern Guy turn up at my tent in the dead of night. I asked him, ‘What’s your story?’ But he just ran off into the shadows.”

Er …
Shannon: “I got out of my tent and felt my sock getting all soggy. I looked down. I was pissing on my foot!”
Campsite: “Where’s that sock now?”
Shannon: “Under my sleeping bag.”
Campsite: “Eew!”