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Top Six 2006 Trends
- Top Six 2006 Trends

2006-03-30 15:31
 

ONE
Mobile Music Madness

Having an iPod or other portable music player will become absolutely socially non-negotiable. Naturally, your coolness level will be based on:
1. How much memory your iPod has relative to how small the iPod itself is. Big Memory is good. Big iPod is bad!
2. Accessories, which will begin to match your outfits and ultimately BE your outfit - expect sweaters with built in "podkets". The iPod is the Barbie Doll of the Trendoid.
3. To a vastly lesser extent, what music you have on the iPod will determine your cool.

TWO
Kwaito Cuts it Overseas

With Eminem, The Streets and Waddy here at home representing for the honkies on the Hip Hop / Rap scene, and doing such a bloody good job of it, there's a gap in the racially segregated segment of the massive overseas market for a "new" genre. And you don't get much newer than Kwaito, which is being introduced over there by the success of our Oscar hope, Tsotsi. Ebonics is now everyday speak, making it as more yesterday than "so yesterday". So the Hip Hop scene will probably happily welcome smatterings of languages that nobody in New York understands. Early adopters will start learning Zulu like a bunch of Trekkies brushing up on their Klingon in before a conference. Selected work by our top Kwaito artists will make it there. Zola, Mzekezeke, Mandoza, Brown, Arthur and Mdu, your bigtime has come. Expect a top 10 in the USA this year. Don't expect the yanks to learn to pronounce those hard African surnames though...

THREE
The Anti / College Movement Goes Big

You're heard of "Anti-folk" people like Bright Eyes, and Willy Mason. "College" rock bands like Arcade Fire and Elbow, and so on? Well, they're about to become very mainstream. Even in the doldrums of music (South African radio), similar bands like White Stripes are starting to get the odd playlisting. James Blunt and Katie Melua may not be as exciting as the artists they're plastic versions of, but they represent a trend - the resurgence of the singer/songwriter in popular music. And that is exciting. Go Poetry! Go Protest! Have a listen to your Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Beatles, Paul Simon and David Bowie collections. Everyone's about to copy and adapt them.

FOUR
The 80s Alternative Scene resurfaces
NO, do not fear. You will not be forced to listen to grim tunes of death, wear black or stick a nappy pin through your nose. But bands like New Order are being reinvented with a poppy, trippy sweetness by bands like British Sea Power. The U2 sound is so mainstream you no longer hear it. REM is the basis of the biggest bands - especially those inspired by Radiohead's early genius. Isn't it funny to think REM was once filed under "Alternative" on the record store shelves?

FIVE
Mobile Madness Part II

Mobile telephones will continue to try to be MP3 Players and cameras, but will abandon this quest when the dialling function needs to be dropped to make way for the a-z song listing function.

SIX
Springbok Nude Girls Reunite

After a tearful moment between Theo and Arno at their 3rd corporate gig appearance of the year, the band will agree to release a brand new album called "My Dead Body", or "Fat Lady Recants" or "Die Perde Kry Horings". They'll then spend the next three years threatening to break up, but never actually do it, releasing three albums, one of which (widely considered to be their masterpiece) will be a live accoustic set.

- made up by Jean Barker


We've seen the future, and it's Music. What will you be listening to on your radios, in your lounges and cars and while gyming this year? Listen up for our music trends for 2006. Then use the form below to post your own predictions.

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