In a beautiful written piece for the New York Times, Trevor Noah paints a picture of his childhood with his mother

M-Net officially turns 30 years old today – celebrating three decades of bringing viewers across the African continent premium TV content

We Heard WHAT? - We Heard WHAT?

2008-01-19 18:08
Ice Queen kicks some booty
Icelandic singer Bjork allegedly attacked a newspaper photographer soon after she arrived at New Zealand's Auckland International Airport on Sunday, reports The singer, who is in the northern city of Auckland to perform at the Big Day Out concert on Friday ripped New Zealand Herald photographer Glenn Jeffrey's shirt after he photographed her arriving at the airport. Bjork was apparently accompanied by a man who asked Jeffrey not to take photos. But Jeffrey took them anyway and Bjork just saw red. “I took a couple of pictures ... and as I turned and walked away she came up behind me, grabbed the back of my black skivvy (T-shirt) and tore it,” he alleged. Jeffrey added that she said nothing throughout the incident but her male companion kept saying saying: “B, don't do this, B, don't do this”. Don’t mess with this lady she’ll whip your booty.

All pumped up
Now we know why Fiddy ag 50 Cent is so pumped up. According to the New York Times, Mr. Man is one of the prominent entertainers that have been cited in the steroid and human growth hormones probe. reports that in addition to 50 Cent, stars cited include author, actor and producer Tyler Perry, musicians Timbaland, Wycleff Jean and (surprise!) soul diva Mary J Blige. 50 Cent has allegedly had steroids shipped to his Connecticut mansion under the name “Michael Jordan”. How low can a brother go? And what’s up with Mary J Blige? London Free Press reports that Ms Blige’s spokesperson denounced and denied the allegations. We hope it’s true because Mary has been doing “Fine’ lately and had “No More Drama” in her life.

Suicidal Britney
Britney Spears has allegedly threatened to commit suicide if she is forced into psychiatric care according to BangShowbiz. Will somebody please save this sorry- ass sister? The toxic singer lost all visitation rights to her two young sons last week after she was hospitalized. Britney insists she’d rather than die than be put into hospital by her parents, Jamie and Lynne. ShowBiz reports that the pop star shrieked down the phone to a friend that, ‘They're not sending me to the nut house! No one can make me go. I'll kill myself before I let them lock me up again. So tell Mama and Daddy I said so. Oh my God, it's over for me.” It looks like divine intervention is all that can save this poor soul. A “friend” of Britney’s also revealed that she fears the singer may kill herself if she is barred from seeing her boys. “The kids are her life. She told me she has no reason to live if she can't see them. So yes, I'm afraid, very afraid”. It’s really scary now. We hope we won’t be writing any reports on Britney’s death anytime soon.

Retirement calling
Robbie Williams claims touring "nearly killed" him. BangShowbiz reports that the singer plans to quit live performances and has disappointed fans further by revealing that he won’t be releasing an album this year. He said: “There might not be a proper album out this year and there definitely won't be a tour any time soon. F**k that, the last one nearly killed me.” He added on his website blog: “I do have to say, the more time I'm spending away from public life, the more I like it. Unfortunately I have a massive competitive urge that wants me to put out three albums a year. Which one will win? I'm sure as soon as I get bored I'll be back. But right now there's a soy vanilla latte and mince pie waiting for me in the kitchen.” It sounds like somebody is gracefully bowing out after making a comfortable stash for himself.

Under Josh’s Umbrella
Rihanna says being with Josh Hartnett “just feels right”. The “Umbrella” singer previously denied dating the actor, claiming that they were just good friends. She now admits that she knew they were made for each other when they met while partying in New York last October. She said: “It's good to be friends first. It helps if you have things in common, but if someone is right for you, you'll know it. When I hang out with Josh, it feels right. He's lovely.” Ah that’s nice. We hope it lasts.

Mbau again
It looks like Ms Mbau is becoming a regular on our site. The wannabe singer and controversial socialite has posed half naked in the February issue of FHM magazine. Sunday World reports that it’s because she wants her husband Mandla Mthembu to appreciate her. The Queen of Bling told Sunday World that she feels that her millionaire hubby “doesn’t see that he’s got manna from Heaven”. Talk about blowing your own horn. She says: “I did the sexy pose for Mandla because I think he takes it for granted that God gave him a wonderful woman. And I’d like him to appreciate me even more.” Khanyi sure gets a kick out of airing her laundry and all in public. The FHM VIP List of beautiful babes include former Miss SA Claudia Henkel, Channel O presenter Nonhle Thema, actress Kim Engelbrecht, model and TV star Christina Storm and radio DJ and former Miss SA teen Phuti Khomo.”

The Lion King in the dark
The hit musical show The Lion King has lost about R100 000 because of Eskom’s load power cuts that has left South Africans and audiences in the dark, reports The Times. The show is due to run until February at the Teatro Montecasino in Jozi. The power cut last week Thursday resulted in the show being cancelled and 1854 people being disappointed. Producers of the show claim they were more disappointed about turning away people who booked in advance and traveled to Jozi to see the show, than about losing the money. To make it up to the crowd, a show was scheduled for Sunday to accommodate those who were left in the dark. The Lion King has been in high demand that its run has been extended twice with tickets almost selling out for every performance. Yes the Lion may have slept in the mighty dark jungle for one night but the show still goes on.

James Blunt coming to Mzansi
Big Concerts and 94.7 Highveld Stereo will be bringing popular singer and songwriter James Blunt to South Africa in May. The singer is scheduled to perform three live shows. So fans you better get your tickets soon before they’re all gone. Hopefully Eskom won’t disappoint Blunt’s fans! The show will kick-start in Joburg at The Coca-Cola Dome on 24 May, then move onto the Botanic Gardens in Durban on 26 May, with the final shebang at the Grand Arena at Grand West Casino & Entertainment World in Cape Town on 28 May 2008. Make sure you don’t miss out.

-Gugulethu Mkhabela
Sourced: BangShowbiz;,; New York Times, The Times, Sunday World
This Week: Icelandic singer kicks journo ass, famous entertainers in scandalous steroid probe, under Rihanna’s umbrella and The Lion King in the dark. Load up on your weekly dose of umgosi.

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