We heard WHAT?

Arthur's Ongoing Pantsula Adventures
Remember Arthur’s killer collab with Queen Sesoko, “Vuk’uzenzele”? If you do then you’ll know that jazz pianist Pat Matshikiza won the lawsuit he filed against the kwaito kingpin back in 1999, claiming that the pantsula-pop nugget was based on his song “Tshona”. What makes this titbit more than a last-millennium footnote? Well, turns out Arthur still owes Pat a royalty cheque. The 75 year old pianist has been waiting so long that he’s afraid he might die before he gets paid. “How long must I wait? I am old now” cried Pat. Damn straight. Give an old man a break Arthur. There’ll come a day when you’ll be a pantsula pensioner too!

Brickz kicked to the curb
Dreadlocked kwaito star Brickz has been dumped by his fiancée Elle of Muvhango fame after knocking up another woman. It gets worse, the other woman, known only as Lerato, actually tried to commit suicide on discovering she was carrying his twins! Tabloid-watchers will know this is not the first mistress Brickz has impregnated since asking Elle to marry him. In fact, just two weeks after paying labola for Elle, his ex-girl friend announced that she was pregnant with his child. No suprises that Elle has packed her bags and left Brickz to deal with his baby mama drama alone.

Beyoncé Burns It Up
R&B babe Beyoncé gave an explosive performance in St. Louis recently. Literally. The front row seats turned out to be the worst seats in the house when the booty-liscious pyrotechnics went freakum on stage and spilled into the audience seated in the first two rows. Minor injuries were sustained by a few of the fans, who were escorted to a nearby hospital. Sensitive soul songbird that she is, Beyoncé reportedly shook her booty and popped in to check on her unfortunate R&B faithfuls after the concert. Talk about a “ring the alarm” incident!

Pot-headed Paris
Everybody’s favourite spoiled rich-kid socialite, Paris Hilton was having so much fun in LA the other night that she forgot she’s supposed to have turned over a new leaf. Word on the tabloid wires is that Paris was dabbling in the green leaf otherwise known as marijuana. According to a fellow clubber, "she took a huge puff off of a joint, then opened the door [of an SUV parked out side Teddy’s nightclub] and exhaled the pot smoke basically in my face." This after telling Larry King (on international TV, I might add) that she’s never done drugs! Who knows, maybe Paris enjoyed prison more than she’s letting on.

Fergie’s Fanatic Fan
Black-eyes Peas babe, Fergie and her boyfriend Josh ‘Transformers’ Duhamel have been freaked out by an over-zealous fan. Apparently this loser comes out to play every night at around 11pm. A close friend of the couple’s told the New York Daily Newspaper: "Every night at around 11pm, someone pulls up in front of their home, rolls down the car windows and plays 'London Bridge' really loud." And there you have the dark side of the Glamorous life. Bet her daddy never told her that!

Britney hits us, one at a time
Two years after her last album imploded, past her sell-by-date pop princess Britney Spears is preparing to release a new track. Yes, a whole track! The few lucky souls to have heard it reckon it’s different and the world is going to be surprised. "It's a very new sound for her. I think people will be surprised,” said one source. Hmm, sounds like a case of pre-publicity spin? Well, Brit has been working with producer Sean Garrett, who’s known for airbrushing a few of the creases out of the careers of Mary J. Blige, Beyoncé and Jennifer Lopez. So we can only hope. Expect an album sometime in 2008.

-Natalie Sineke De Freitas