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6 steps to get through a Hollywood break-up

2013-11-05 12:03
Cape Town - "It's not you, it's me."

Many might not have bat an eyelid when Bruce and Kris Jenner split, but everybody was absolutely heartbroken to hear that golden couple Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are calling it quits after three years (which is 10 in Hollywood years).

Even worse is Clint Eastwood filing for divorce to end his 17-year-marriage to Dina (which is 100 in Hollywood years).

Just when we thought our hearts couldn't take it any more, power couple Jada and Will Smith are embroiled in another rumour of splitsville (keeping our fingers crossed) and now another rumour has popped up that Hollywood's golden boy Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes' relationship could also be ending (Well, that isn't the worst news...).

And just to drive the dagger further into our hearts, Lady Gaga got dumped by her Chicago Fire boyfriend for being "too busy". Don't worry Gaga, check out these six stages of a breakup, accompanied by our choice of breakup songs, to get you through this difficult time (and us...)

Step 1 - Shock
Wait... what? Like Enrique says, when a relationship ends, it feels like a Heart Attack. Can someone call the doctor?

Step 2 - Denial
After the doctor brings you back to life, you kind of forget about the whole breaking up thing. What you talking about honey? I'm only tying you up because I love you, just like Pink.

Step 3 - Anger
At this point, it takes everything in you not to smash your ex's face in. Or key their car. Or trash their apartment (cause you still have the key) like good ol' Kelly Clarkson. Since U Been Gone is a satisfying song indeed when you want to lash out.

Step 4 - Bargaining
So now you want to change their minds, promising to change or do this and that, but we all know it will end up in flames as Eminem and Rihanna proves. Just back away from the phone...

Step 5 - Depression
The world has become a very dark, colourless place. You just want to curl up in a hole with some My Chemical Romance and think how no one will ever love you again. So much feel.

Step 6 - Acceptance

Yeah, Taylor Swift might be the Queen of Breakups, but this is the song where you are finally over the one that pulverised your heart and you have no more illusions of getting back together. Like ever.

Don't worry though, it seems like Kristen and Rob could be patching things up??

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