Joost says Amor broke his heart

2011-12-08 09:15
Philip de Bruin
Cape Town - "I'm busy making videos that I will leave behind for my children. They can look at it when they're eighteen to remind them of their father," Joost van der Westhuizen said on Wednesday on kykNET's TV programme Kwêla.

"In those videos I say the things that I would've wanted to teach them if I had time," the former Springbok captain said. "Life is (now) just about quality."

Van der Westhuizen was diagnosed with terminal motor neuron disease (MND) last year.

He already speaks with difficulty, drags his tongue and doesn't fully pronounce his words.

He has made peace with the fact that his life expectancy is between one and five years.

Keep on smiling

"For now, I'm only still playing in the first half of my hardest game ever. The game will become much harder later, I know. But I'll take it on."

He said it saddens him that he doesn't have the support of Amor Vittone, his estranged wife.

"I really would've wanted her support now, because she is the person whom I've loved the most. She broke my heart.

"I would like to see my children more often. If Amor for example has to go away for weekends when the children are with her, she leaves them with her parents. I would like to have them with me. I do not want to fight, but it's a thing that our legal people (with a view to divorce) are still sorting out."

VOTE: Should Amor take him back?

In the meantime he has also started the J9 Foundation (J for Joost and 9 for the number he wore on his back as a Springbok). The foundation's goal is to help other MND sufferers who have no support system.

"Currently I am, despite my illness and the fact that some of my muscles have already started to give in, in a very good place in my life. I live one day at a time. And I keep on smiling."

 

Comments

  • Bianca - 2011-12-08 09:37

    Joost has made mistakes but this is still incredibly sad. I will always remember rooting for him in his green jersey :(

      John - 2011-12-08 13:24

      @ fred, as bianca says joost made mistakes, i think you are bit hard on the guy by saying that and anyway forget the past he needs positive press now for his foundation to perform

      Catherine - 2011-12-08 13:33

      @Fred You really crack me up. No worries that you are getting a lot of thumbs down but i like your humour

      Jason - 2011-12-08 14:03

      @ Fred & Catherine............has he made mistakes? yes! but this is a man who has been told he has between 1 and 5 years to live.....And you 2 think joking about him is funny. Looked in the mirror lately? Something about glass houses springs to mind........Unbelievable!!

      Zion - 2011-12-08 16:55

      I only came to know Joost after he contacted the sickness and that bothers me. What bothers me further is the arrogant remarks found on these comments. When these persons lose someone beloved in their own family then maybe they will show some sympathy for others. Otherwise it is just a circus for slim se-goed. I see South Africans now in a different light.

  • Fredster - 2011-12-08 09:39

    Joost...all the best my friend. There are many people praying for you. And for Margies comment...not called for

      Vuyo - 2011-12-08 12:41

      Ai Fred, would it be too much to ask that you respect other people's belief system? You've been on various forums for days now ridiculing Christians and the God they believe in. I certainly respect your anti god views – whatever works for you is great. But I would like to ask that you respect other people’s religious views as well.

      Sharkshoot - 2011-12-08 14:56

      Margie probably has someone close to her rooting other women behind her back..

  • TheyTookMyNickLaZynEko - 2011-12-08 09:43

    no you loser, you broke her heart when you cheated on her!!!

      Tammas - 2011-12-08 11:45

      @TheyTookMyNickLazEko....You sound like one bitter lady

      Kay - 2011-12-08 14:07

      Tamma she is just stating the truth damn u touchy...

      George - 2011-12-08 14:39

      Ja buddy it was the last straw

  • ddewee1 - 2011-12-08 09:45

    Joost my heart is bleeding for you I just pray that the Lord will grant you your wishes and bring your enstranged wife to her sense. Keep on hoping because we have a great God greater then everything, He knows your heart and He knows your pain. The same God can give you life in abundance just as He grant Hiskia 15 years to his life can He do for you just believe.

      vastis1 - 2011-12-08 10:28

      God has brought her to her senses, she was his wife and she loved him and believed in him, he cheated - the fact that he is ill, does not change the fact that she is better off with out him, She should only go back to him if that is WHAT she wants, and not out of simpathy!

      Riëtte - 2011-12-08 12:59

      He doesn't deserve her "coming to her senses". He cheated, he violated her trust and made their marriage cheap, so why must she go back to him? Just one question, if your wife did what he did, would you take her back? no sir, I don't think you will, so why must she?

      gillian.wayman - 2011-12-08 13:32

      Amor does have sense stay away from a lying cheating husband.

  • Greg - 2011-12-08 09:53

    As a father, regardless of indescretions, I believe the childen should be allowed to see as much of the father as possible when life expectancy is reduced. What is the mother going to say to her children when he has passed away? "Sorry kids, but your daddy was a two timing bastard?". Forget your own feelings. Think of the children left behind without a father!

      Marion - 2011-12-08 11:32

      @Greg... unless the father is a real danger to the kids he should be allowed to see the kids as often as possible anyway. This putting the kids in the middle of a divorce disgusts me.

      colleen.balfour - 2011-12-08 12:32

      Perhaps she is thinking of the children, that it may be kinder to them to let them become accustomed to his abscence before he is gone for good? Just a thought....

      atomasicchio - 2011-12-08 13:35

      The fact of the matter is that he bringing Amor down, basically implying that she has no heart. The mere fact that he is discussing this on national TV just shows his intergrity. He should have been a good father and good husband, but now because he is dying he wants a relationship. The moral of the story, life is too short so don't mess around with it!!!!

      gillian.wayman - 2011-12-08 13:37

      His illness does not make him safe for his kids to be around, unfortunately, what if something bad happens to him. Amor has said this too and I share in her sentiment, he is just playing the sympathy card, He like to behave like a spoilt boy. Remember his reaction when Amor had a friend in Canada, he went off filing for divorce, so upset?????

  • Terry - 2011-12-08 10:25

    dear Joost I do say this with the deepest feelings,Amor will rally round you must just be patient but your children,friends and family as well as our crowd in KZN.keep on smiling nothing is impossible with the Lord beside you.

  • Don - 2011-12-08 10:46

    And at some point he will write a book, probably might even have a movie about his life and career, but please no cd!!!!Yaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwnnnnn

  • Chrono - 2011-12-08 10:57

    Interesting how negative as well as positive comments about Joost posted here both get lots of thumbs up. Clearly there are arguments for and against what Joost experiences and what he has done in his life. In a time like this when a person who failed publicly receives devastating news I want to wipe the slate clean on the victim and see that the time he has left is as pleasant as possible. A lot of time has passed since Joost's indiscretions came to light, enough time for Amor to deal with it in a way and to weigh the best options for their most important shared interest: their children. There is little hope for the good message when public figures demonstrate little or nothing of the reconciliatory power that is assumed to reside in faithful people like them.

  • CatPals - 2011-12-08 11:00

    Joost: I think the problem was: you broke her heart, humiliated her. Who knows why she doesn't leave the children with him? Alas, sorry lad, this has happened to you, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but we reap what we sow unfortunately.

      Vuyo - 2011-12-08 12:56

      Alana, best not to judge this man's life. You have no idea what his journey is like. Most people only know what they've read in newspapers and magazines. And the print media will sensationalise anything. So, I don't think it's fair or reasonable to form an opinion based on what you read in print. You can only make an informed judgement if you've been living under the same roof as Joost and his wife. As for calling him scum of the earth? What are you? 12?

  • Sharon - 2011-12-08 11:15

    Jooste maybe she is sparing the children the frightful sight of ur illness taking it`s toll on u, I know wot I went thru with my Mom, was not comforting and I was in my 30`s. I do feel sorry for u, but think also of ur children. God Bless

  • Melissa - 2011-12-08 11:17

    Did he just say Amor broke his heart? Should I push the rewind button Joost?

      alanaR.rodriguez - 2011-12-08 11:45

      What a cheap "shot".... wonder if it would have been the same if he was not sick... I doubt!

  • alanaR.rodriguez - 2011-12-08 11:43

    JAck@ss.... what do you think you did to Amor?! Was all good when you where well, now you're a sick man playing for sympathy.... You DON'T deserve her!!! You had her and screwed it up.... or shall I say screwed your way out of it... NEE WAT BOETIE, wat jy saai sal jy maai...!! KRY VIR JOU!

      Riëtte - 2011-12-08 13:03

      drake, it would seem you are one of those people who sees nothing wrong wtih cheating, heck, if you cheat she probably deserved it? Anyway, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

  • Lana-May - 2011-12-08 11:45

    karma - - - she is a bitch!

      Xclusivdj - 2011-12-08 13:17

      Maybe she was also being f###ed somewhere, pity we didn't hear about it! #Maybe not

  • alanaR.rodriguez - 2011-12-08 11:51

    Not to long ago.... Joost made his first wife out to be a cheat.... then the wheel turned... or did it really.... was his 1st wife really all he accused her off...? He was lucky to get a women like Amor... I have think his "deeds" simply caught up with him in his 2nd marridge...

      Vuyo - 2011-12-08 13:03

      You have one guess where Ms Rodriquez got all these juicy bits of news from. Anyone? You just have to scan what's on YOU magazine's cover to realise it's trash. What is worrying though is the fact that this publication is read widely in this country.

  • Josey - 2011-12-08 11:53

    No matter what he has done in the past, he has a very limited time left on this earth, and deserves to spend every second with his children. Very sad.

      gillian.wayman - 2011-12-08 13:43

      then he should try being happy and stop harping on about Amor she is not interested!!

  • Samora - 2011-12-08 11:54

    has everyone forgotten joost's first marriage? he vowed till death do us part, then divorced to marry a celebrity and made the same vows again (on top billing nogal). in the bigger scheme of things, he's rich and famous so there are people in much more dire situations than his who I'm sorry for instead of him

      Marion - 2011-12-08 12:59

      There was a lot of speculation at that time about whether he and Amor were romantically involved while he was still married. What can be more dire than receiving a definite death sentence? No cure, life expectancy 5-10 years, a few 'survive' for up to 30 years. Same type of disease that one of the greatest physicists in the world, Stephen Hawking, has.

  • Monica - 2011-12-08 11:57

    Jooste made mistakes in the past, big ones but he is dying now and his wife must forgive him and allow him to see his children. To forgive some one makes you fill good and she needs this kind of filing in her hart as we all need.

      RA - 2011-12-08 12:19

      humans talking about death like its their morning bfast. .lol, ,u dont even know what is after death, but u wanna comfort urself in death? lol, goodluck,,,

      Klipkop - 2011-12-08 12:19

      fill, filing haha He filled his nose with smack and filled his tarty whore with body liquid that is it. Have you been cheated on? Filed for divorce because your spouse played with a 3rd party (and made a video). By the way we are all going to die one day. He is no god, just some loser with blue eyes.

      Monique - 2011-12-08 12:41

      JA...FILL my glass cos it's empty and I'm thirsty-LOL!!!!

  • Koos - 2011-12-08 12:14

    mmmm Joost... miskien as jy nie rond ges@ker het nie sou sy nie.... ek dink meer jy het haar hart gebreek met jou str@nt so hou op jannie jammer gat wees en fokus op dit wat belangrik is!

  • peter.t.fredericks1 - 2011-12-08 12:19

    In my opinion I feel that Amor must allow their kids to spend more time with their father and if she is a person that goes to church and ask every Sunday for God's forgiveness, how can you not forgive your husband, although he really hurt her emotionally with the scandal. Who are we to judge the next person. God says how can you love Me although you never saw me, but you cannot love your neighbor for which you can physically see. ?????? Joost if you made peace with God and you truly confess and asked Amor's forgiveness there is nothing else you can do but to leave her decision in God's hand.

      Monique - 2011-12-08 12:46

      I disagree! Forgiving someone is one thing, but realising what is good and bad for you is a completely different thing. Do you tink God would want you to marry a man who repeatedly abuses you? God wants everyone to be happy but at the end of the day it still is our choice. He only lights up the path, we choose choose the path.

      Rohin - 2011-12-09 11:49

      IMO, if the father of my children was a cocaine user, I wouldn't leave my kids with him either.

  • Chantelle - 2011-12-08 12:23

    feel very sorry for this dude. Its just sad that first, he had the sex scandal, and then this. I can understand Amors hurt. Perhaps she should put her childrens feelings first here. We will never know the full story of all of this so i cant say. Just very very sad.

      Monique - 2011-12-08 12:47

      I agree, very nicely put.

      Marion - 2011-12-08 13:03

      Imagine if every ex wife kept their kids away from their fathers just to get them used to his absence. How cruel. That, in my opinion, is not putting your children first. No matter what a s**t your father is, he is still your father.

      Chantelle - 2011-12-08 13:18

      i just think this article is in poor taste "VOTE - SHOULD AMOR TAKE HIM BACK" come on man...

  • Pieter - 2011-12-08 12:32

    Do not judge, lest ye be judged by your own standard. Pity the starlet won't let the children visit. Lot's of love there to be sure...

      alanaR.rodriguez - 2011-12-08 12:39

      Pieter I think there is more to why she is not allowing the children to visit... this is one side of the story.... there still is her side... and then there is the TRUTH...

  • Wilma - 2011-12-08 12:46

    Sad, very sad. But I guess it was the other way around if you lie and cheat on your wife.

  • The-third - 2011-12-08 12:51

    "VOTE: Should Amor take him back?" . . . bliksim that's in poor taste.

  • Riëtte - 2011-12-08 12:53

    how full of it can he be? He cheated on her, lied to her and she broke his heart? FFS!!

  • Bruce - 2011-12-08 13:00

    What ever he did, his children should know their father, or they may one day blame their mother for not having known him. Young children tend to take things very much for granted, so I doubt that they will be unduly traumatised by his illness. I she is worried about that, she could get advice from a therapist or from support groups. There are undoubtedly children who live with disabled parents, they are not all divorced.

      Chantelle - 2011-12-08 13:20

      i agree with you bruce - when the kids grow up, they might harbour resentment towards their mother for keeping them away from their father in his last years. I do however think that this isnt the full story - must be more to her reasoning for keeping the kids away.

  • gillian.wayman - 2011-12-08 13:27

    this man does not deserve Amor he was a cheating lying husband, All he wants is his own way..........!!

  • atomasicchio - 2011-12-08 13:36

    The moral of the story - LIFE IS TOO DAMN SHORT SO DON'T F^&K AROUND WITH IT!

  • Catherine - 2011-12-08 13:42

    Before you go slamming Amor, calling her a bad mother, christian, whatever. Just remember there are two sides to a story and those making assumptions don't know all the facts. Don't you know that assumptions are the mother of all f*&$ ups!

  • marcusvandermerwe - 2011-12-08 13:49

    Google this: THE INTENTION EXPERIMENT

  • Clarissa - 2011-12-08 14:23

    haha, Pateet! Jou jagsheid het jou hart gebreek, dude! Keep it in your pants, oh wait, you can't say no to a jong bokkie!

      Zion - 2011-12-08 17:01

      Clarissa, Jy is pateties en maak nugter mense naar met jou astrant houding.

      Susan - 2012-03-05 23:29

      Dink jy is die Pateet! Jou taal Meisie onvanpas vir n dame.

  • elfrieda.krause - 2011-12-08 14:30

    Ek voel jammer vir jou, maar vergeet jy jou aandeel in die egskeiding? Hou tog op om so smartvraat te wees.

  • zamalek86 - 2011-12-08 14:38

    For pucksakes, the guy made a big mistake, he paid for that, Amor left him, he was humiliated in public, not trying to say its OK what he did...Joost is dying, give the guy time with his kids, before he becomes a total potato, and screw his kids lives up even more...his trying to do something good before he dies....try and give him the little bit of credit he deserves....in a few months you'll have some new celeb to talk crap about....

  • Gerhardus - 2011-12-08 14:44

    I'm with Amor on this one. I won't leave my kids with someone that uses drugs.

  • Alta - 2011-12-08 14:58

    People in glass houses should not throw stones.

      Don - 2011-12-08 15:59

      and people in glass houses should also not be naked

  • Annerie - 2011-12-08 15:05

    Aaaaag Siestog Shame, gaan snuif nog so bietjie en le op jou ruggie!!! Viva Amor Viva!!!!!!

      Susan - 2012-03-05 23:34

      Pateties, as jy nie iets goed kan se nie bly stil!!!

  • margaret.mead1 - 2011-12-08 15:14

    Joost I admire your courage. It is hard to handle hurts, and the hurt is never one-sided. We all hurt each other sometimes, even if we don't intend to. I'm glad you are doing something positive with regard to other MD sufferers. It is a terrible thing to be sick and alone, especially if you have no money either. I pray that your efforts will help many people. The most important thing at this stage, is to get your relationship with your Heavenly Father right, through Jesus. That is what will see you into the next life. But I have a feeling that you have already given this MUCH thought. God will bless you, even in the midst of pain and sickness. He has plans for you now and in the future. Be strong.

  • deidredavies - 2011-12-08 15:41

    Amor wasn't good enough for Joost when he was healthy and now that he's terminally ill, she is? I do have sympathy for him but unfortunately he is living the consequences of HIS poor decisions.

  • nadia.chotu - 2011-12-08 16:51

    People? the man is dying.... how about some sympathy??? There is nobody on this earth that can point a finger in judgment at anybody! Sure he did some things that were not acceptable.... but unless you are blemish free... nobody has the right to stand on any moral high grounds. So peeps give the man a break.... and just let him be!!!!

  • kosmonooit - 2011-12-08 16:53

    Was this before or after the kat sessions?

  • Cheryl - 2011-12-08 16:59

    The cheating and drugs didnt help mate...it ws real low class stuff.

      Drake - 2011-12-08 18:53

      And preventing a man from seeing his children? A man who has, at most, no more than five years to live – classy stuff, right?

  • nolwazi.addoobiri - 2011-12-08 17:13

    I feel really sorry for Joost but just because he is now sick does not erase the past hurts. There is nothing wrong with seeing his kids more, but it looks like he is looking for Amor's sympathy as well. We cannot judge her for not being there. She has her own reasons and she is the one who went through a lot of pain because of Joost...not us. Let her live her life the way she sees fit.

  • adrien.mcguire - 2011-12-08 18:17

    No-one deserves the terrible disease Jooste has, and on that level my sympathies are with the man. However, I am not to sure that she "broke his heart". I think it maybe the other way round. He was the one who was being unfaithfull and sniffing funny stuff up his nose. Make peace with what you have done, dont blame anyone other than youself, and get on with your fight with this terrible disease.

  • Ronnie - 2011-12-08 19:13

    Vergeet van Joost en Amor dink aan die Kinders , Amor moet nie aan jou self dink nie Joost bly die Pa van jou Kinders Glo jy aan God dan moet jy kan vergeet en vergewe

      Drake - 2011-12-08 19:28

      Top comment! I’m no creationist by I agree – The children, and the terminal illness of their father, should be taken into consideration. Amor has every right to feel hurt and betrayed, but, more is at stake than the ego in this matter.

  • Anita - 2011-12-08 19:29

    Jo..... ons lewe in 'n wrede wêreld, almal van ons maak foute, niemand is in die geval reg of verkeerd nie, hoekom is ons mense so kleinlik? kan daar tog nie net asb. 'n "happy ending" wees nie al is dit net vir die kinders se onthalwe.

  • dougmayger - 2011-12-08 21:54

    Joost - Sorry for your condition. However you are whining like an Aussie - SHUT UP and get the best out of what life you have left - good luck - you will always be remembered as a great Bok.

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