Dear, ZA News.
It was by chance that I stumbled upon your magnificent article this morning while sipping on my double shot espresso. It was truly like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. The silver lining to my dark and stormy existence.
As I sit here in the dreary basement of the grey skyscraper hosting the 24.com offices and the News24 news team (20 floors above me), I nearly burst into tears after reading your touching piece.
I’m referring to the article titled; "Special Dating Service ‘Lonely24′ Introduced For News24 Commenters" published on 23 September 2014. As a comment checker for News24 I was overwhelmed with joy after seeing that someone was finally doing something about the evil trolls that plague and overshadow the real goodhearted folks that also comment on our website. According to your article "sad, bitter South Africans nationwide will have something brand new to complain about soon, as News24 are about to launch their latest dating site".
I’ve always said that those Debbie Downers who give us all a bad name just needed a good...uhm...bit of loving to put the spring back in their step. Even while writing this I can already foresee the wave of hate mail my open letter will receive. The ANC will undoubtedly be blamed for me writing this. Somewhere, someone will ask "why is this even news?" and I’m pretty sure that a user named DckInYaFace will probably comment; "Ur not EVEN funy. Ur soo lame newsw24".
The best part of the proposed dating site is that an algorithm will match users based on the things they hate and their grasp of spelling and grammar. Why on earth didn’t we think of this first?!
However, the cruellest part of your article is the fact that it’s a fake. A fiction of something I surely could have only dreamed up myself in the deepest corners of desire within my mind.
Thank you very much for getting my hopes up for nothing. For waking me from this precious dream. How cruel a creature are you? Am I forever stuck in this troll dungeon of torture reading comment after comment after comment after comment. (It’s not really that bad. I’m just trying to evoke empathy by totally over-dramatising everything.) Sure, I’ve only had this gig for a week. But it’s still a cruel trick to play on me. I shall seek my revenge. As they say; "When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die."
Kindest regards,News24 comment checker.xox*Channel24 is the entertainment website of News24.
24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.
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