Publications
Partners
‘Mom! MOOOOM! Your horse is farting at me!” yelled Saffiyya as we rode in the hills of the Central Drakensberg. “Oh, I don’t believe it! That’s disgusting!” she continued as the horse promptly defecated a metre away, which was probably Horse for “Get a grip, Jozigirl”.
That was the problem my husband and I were addressing: we needed less sanitary suburban Joburg life and more horse poo.
In the scary city, parents are preoccupied with keeping kids safe behind steel gates and in seat belts. Even the trampolines have safety nets. I was determined to show my lot a weekend of adventure.
The peril began when 10-year-old Saffiyya and seven-year-old brother Tolga sang, word-perfect, every hideous song they’d learnt by US country singer Glen Campbell for a fair chunk of the four and a half hours it took us to drive to the Drakensberg Sun. My evil parents, knowing how much I loathe Campbell’s vile ditty Rhinestone Cowboy, had ensured they knew it well.
But the Drakensberg Canopy Tour the next afternoon – a thrilling zip line trip through the treetops of an indigenous forest more than 70m above ground – put paid to the smug smiles and clever-ass attitudes. The tour’s start is a five-minute walk through the hotel’s grounds past the stables.
Tolga took to the trees like a shorter, chubbier and less tanned version of Tarzan, revelling in slides so fast they had names like Red Ferrari, Black Ferrari and Mini Cooper (because it’s short, but fast). He giggled as he braked early and came to a halt a few metres from the end of the tour’s longest slide, more than 100m long, and had to “monkey jive” himself to the next tree.
But his swagger was matched by Saffiyya’s anxiety – she gripped the handles of her pulley attachment with white knuckles and shut her eyes tightly as she whizzed off to the other side on slide after slide, declaring how “not fun” all of this was. Eight slides later – after kind reassurance from guides Thuli and Sindie, and strict instructions from me to scream all the way to the other end – she started to have fun. A steep 500m climb out of the gorge didn’t deter her from begging to do it all again.
“I’ll keep my eyes open this time, Mom!”
Unsurprisingly, we all passed out at 7pm.
The following morning, it was me who approached the horse riding booking with trepidation (thanks to a teenage accident in which, having sneaked off the farm on horseback for a smoke, I got bucked off and concussed, and my ciggies came flying out of my top where I’d hidden them. Not good). This, though, was far better.
As we ambled along through a gum forest on patient steeds, our guide, Stanley, told the hilarious story of how he got into the horse business. Raised on a farm outside Windhoek, he was about seven years old when he and his friends had left the cattle they were supposed to be tending to wander two hours’ walk away. A snap decision to corral a few wild horses with rope to pursue the beasts led, months later, to an unforgettable hiding from his father – when the farmer spotted them through his binoculars – and to his chosen career. The farmer, a large, Afrikaans-speaking man whose name Stanley had long forgotten, was fine with what the boys were doing with his wild horses. His only complaint was that they should use saddles and bridles, not rope. Little did Stanley realise the farmer was getting his horses broken in for free.
If treetop tours and horse rides are not your thing, the Drakensberg Sun has plenty of other activities on offer. Its children’s programme is packed with crafts and other activities that enable parents to escape their broods and flee to the spa for a massage, as I did. A Cape vulture conservation and feeding programme is highly educational, and there’s rowing on the dam, trout fishing, swimming, a massive playground and sandpit, mini golf and outside board games.
The place is so popular with parents that they have a children’s play area tucked away off the dining room to let harassed mommies drink their wine in peace. We spotted Bafana star Siphiwe Tshabalala and his partner, former Miss SA Bokang Montjane, with their gorgeous six-month-old boy. The four-star resort is a retreat for families, but there’s a lot for the grown-ups too. Saffiyya summed it up: “This place is five-star, Mom.”
Güles and her family wereguests of Tsogo Sun. To find out more, visit tsogosunhotels.com/resorts/drakensberg-sun
