War of words erupts after Hofmeyr roast

2012-09-16 18:37
Charl Blignaut, City Press
Johannesburg - Kuli Roberts says she feels “abused” and “ambushed” after celebs ripped into her at a show she had expected would be “about Steve”.

Comedian Trevor Noah has labelled TV personality Kuli Roberts a hypocritical narcissist after a war of words erupted between them.

The two were part of the first ever SA Comedy Central roast this week, where controversial Afrikaans entertainer Steve Hofmeyr was the subject of a no-holds-barred ribbing by fellow celebrities.

The liberal lashings of sexism, gay insults and crude vagina jokes thrown around on Wednesday night were par for the course in an American-styled roast, but a furious Roberts says she was unfairly singled out.

“It became a Kuli roast. I thought it was about Steve,” she told City Press.

“Next time Trevor Noah wants to attack me personally he mustn’t ambush me.”

As roast host, Noah set the tone against Roberts, as he did with all participants.

“McSlutty, I’m glad you’re sober enough to join us,” he said to her, before having a go at a controversial column on coloured women that saw Roberts fired from Sunday World last year.

After that, she was repeatedly lampooned for being a nymphomaniac, a cocaine junkie and an alcoholic, with multiple references to her vagina.

Accusation rubbished


“I feel abused,” Roberts told City Press.

“So much so I’ve decided I’m giving a portion of the money to a woman abuse charity... I understand Trevor’s abusive because of his background, but this was personal.”

Noah rubbished the accusation, saying “the majority of the jokes were aimed at Steve”, he said.

“To call this an ambush on her is both unfair and narcissistic. Kuli has forged a career on roasting celebrities weekly, both in print and on TV. For her to now turn around and cry foul is a bit hypocritical.”

Roberts apparently became upset because she believed she had stuck to her script while several male comedians had strayed from theirs and roasted her in an unnecessarily personal way, including her privates.

Participants were given a list of forbidden subjects and their scripts were screened before the recording.

“I grew up in a household where I witnessed woman abuse first-hand and I take offence to her belittlement of it,” replied Noah.

“My jokes were no more personal than when she repeatedly joked about my small penis.”

The Mzansi Headline presenter was not the only one who came in for a drubbing.

Toothless drunk

John Vlismas was called the product of a union between Satan and a rat; Robert Whitehead was held up as a drunk, debauched queer; Noah was accused of stealing jokes; David Kau was described as a has-been.

But when it came to the women roasters, bodies were the battlefield, not careers. Shaleen Surtie-Richards and Anele Mdoda were mocked for being overweight and Minki van der Westhuizen’s breasts were a common theme.

At one stage, Noah did mention Mdoda’s career, quipping, “Your career’s moving so fast. Pity your metabolism isn’t keeping up.”

The radio jock received some of the biggest applause of the night.

“I want you to live,” she told Hofmeyr, who was seated on a converted braai with Blue Bulls balls hanging from it, “Because I’m on radio and if you die I’m gonna have to spend a whole week playing your music.”

Of the female roasters, only soap actress Shaleen Surtie-Richards had a real go at Roberts and her column when she said [referring to herself], “This toothless, drunk, coloured woman has won more awards than you’ve had orgasms!”

It elicited screams from the audience and several people stood and cheered, including actor Clint Brink.

Vulgar

Hofmeyr’s legendary temper flared up when comedian John Vlismas questioned his Afrikaner pedigree.

An annoyed Hofmeyr stood up and shoved a page of the script in Vlismas’ mouth.

On a night characterised by the most vulgar language ever to grace a local TV show, only the wholesome model Minki van der Westhuizen kept things clean.

Her autocue-reliant and cringeworthy roasting was all about how hot she is and how Hofmeyr has always wanted to bed her but never will.

She did manage an amusing parting shot, though: “Steve, if it wasn’t for you I’d be the dumbest blonde in South Africa.”

“That was sweet. But don’t talk,” said Noah as she returned to her seat.

  • An edited version of the roast will premiere on 24 September on Comedy Central (DStv 122) at 20:55.

Watch a preview of Steve Hofmeyr's Comedy Central Roast here:




Comments

  • duettists - 2012-09-16 11:12

    The antics in this show suggest that so-called TV "entertainment" has sunk to a new low if that is possible. Thank you for the preview. I'll make a note to avoid it!

      jason.vanderspuy.5 - 2012-09-17 08:10

      A clever marketing ploy to promote the show. Anyone?

      merven.halo - 2012-09-17 08:43

      "“It became a Kuli roast. I thought it was about Steve,” she told City Press. " Lol, so she was fine with it if Steve was the main target?

      mark.ross.779 - 2012-09-17 10:26

      Merven.halo, that's what the roasts are about. They 'celebrate' one person in particular by getting several celebs to come and make jokes about their careers/past/appearance, but they generally also chirp the other roasters. I watch them on Comedy Central but I find them so awkward and Americanised, such toilet humour. I hate that we've bought them across here. It doesn't suit these guys to attack each other like that.. Anyway

      wesley.bischoff - 2012-09-17 10:39

      Don't like it? Don't watch it....

      selma.botha.9 - 2012-09-17 11:59

      Julius Malema is next

      ryan.heuvel.9 - 2012-09-17 13:52

      Watching the American roasts (Trump, Sheen, Sagat, Flav, Hasslehof) - all celebs had a proper go at each other and the vulgar aspect was perpetuated in the States - this is the nature of the beast!! If she can't take a few knocks, she simply shouldn't have signed up to be there! She's an easy target so it's natural for jokes to gravitate her way, couldn't happen to a nicer 'lady'! Can't wait for the airing, don't watch if you can't handle it

      colin.murphy.37604 - 2012-09-17 18:08

      I think the scariest thing I read in that whole article was that I actually probably know who 4 of the "celebrities" actually are... Bunch of averages if you ask me

      hallo.daar.56 - 2012-09-17 18:11

      Get a sense of humour

      mattewis.kat - 2012-09-18 06:55

      I agree with you! I can understand their marketing ploy though, because YOU magazine & Huisgenoot both sell far too well. These people are too dumb to realize that there is no honour amongst thieves! It's cool if you're ripping into someone else, but lesser so when the tables are turned!

      megala.arxithia - 2012-09-18 07:37

      AAAAG Please...A roasting of someone has been around for years in other countries yet people are spitting mad in this country about the first one. South Africans are the most sensitive, aggressive yet childish, grumpy people this side of North Korea and are too serious for their own good. And that is why so many people get murdered here for absolutely no reason. South Africans need to lighten up and join the human race and see life for what it is instead of moaning about swearing on tv. Catch a wake...its the 21st century!!!!!

      jerome.main.9 - 2012-09-18 08:20

      Its called comedy roasting. Its quite a big thing in the USA as well. You gotta see the funny side.

  • stella.sebalo - 2012-09-16 11:55

    hahahahahahahhhhhh classic Shaleen!!! “This toothless, drunk, coloured woman has won more awards than you’ve had orgasms!” Kuli must just be strong, I know she likes 'attacking' others on Headlines sooo...MAN up girl and laugh at yourself you know you are not a junkie akere....??? #deadandburiedbyorgasms#

  • craig.hopkins.376 - 2012-09-16 19:40

    Yes, tv has sunk to a new low but some people just need to be given the low down on how the general public perceive them

      megala.arxithia - 2012-09-18 07:39

      Yo Craig...people like you dont know what its like to live in a real democracy where anyone has the right to say anything they want. South Africa is no real democracy thanks to people like you who wear blinkers and act like they have the right to tell people what to do. Go back to your cave and carry on bashing your wife on the head with a stick!!

  • jean.tredoux.5 - 2012-09-16 19:42

    South African aren't ready for shows like this... Way too over-sensitive!!!

      elroy.felix.50 - 2012-09-17 09:48

      True Jean !!! Kuli probably haven't seen the way show gets down in the US.... Ma wil oek alles doen !!

      megala.arxithia - 2012-09-18 07:41

      South Africans are too conservative yet they act like they are Westernised. South Africans have the ingrained African mentality of trying to dictate to others what they may or may not watch. This country has decades to go before it joins the real world of freedom!!!

      Jo.Davies123 - 2012-09-18 08:40

      On the American ones, they go down really well and all is taken in good spirits. Us South African's are too sensetive to do this, me thinks

  • millionwatts1 - 2012-09-16 20:12

    Sigh! How original!

  • louiseroger.higham - 2012-09-16 20:55

    Grow up lady its all suppose to be a joke

  • henk.tredoux.7 - 2012-09-16 21:54

    Not even a drama diva! Just a drama flop! Hello who do you think you are? Poor little girl!

  • henk.tredoux.7 - 2012-09-16 21:56

    If I saw her on a stormy night..... I will run.... And fast! Don't hurt me.... Just take my wallet!!!!

  • maxndaba - 2012-09-16 21:57

    Are they out of jokes to such an extent that they ambush each other with their PRIVATE parts which are supposed to be PRIVATE..Its not funny but disgusting..Yuck!,..shame on ALL of them...Yerrr!

  • stefan.maree.1 - 2012-09-16 22:03

    Ban the upcoming show! SA is already in dire straits and dont need something like this on our TV screens.

      frankflower - 2012-09-16 22:14

      Wie dink hierdie stront uit?

      emille.harmse - 2012-09-17 15:53

      I would like to see it. So don't ban it. Some people are so self-righeous.

      Jo.Davies123 - 2012-09-18 08:41

      Don't watch it then

  • frankflower - 2012-09-16 22:13

    O geez, this country is really falling apart if we think a copy of a senseless American show is decent entertainment! It sounds horrible and childish. Good Lord, toilet humour is seriously crap!

  • mornelaubscher - 2012-09-16 22:28

    All fun and games till someone pulls a "Kuli"

  • brendon.mulder - 2012-09-16 23:27

    Shame that celebs cant take a good ribbing, we all done it at some point and its funny but thats all its supposed to be! If she couldnt handle it why sign up for it?

  • SunblushStarfish - 2012-09-16 23:29

    Despicable garbage that stoops to the bottom of the sewage tank to pull out stuff that is supposed to be funny. Pretty sad if you call that comedy or think it is funny.

  • jonathan.whelan.372 - 2012-09-17 00:11

    Clearly Roberts has never watched the American roastings before going on the show. Shame what did she expect, seriously…?

  • morumbelajudas.mokwebo - 2012-09-17 02:43

    Can't say much

  • beryl.knipe - 2012-09-17 04:48

    If this is supposed to be "entertainment" - GOD Help Us!!!

  • fidel.mgoqi - 2012-09-17 05:57

    Oscar Wilde once wrote that the "America is the first super power to go from barbarism to decadence without any civilisation in between". It appears that we are importing this decadence to SA, and we call this entertainment.

  • hein.huyser - 2012-09-17 06:29

    This is pathetic. And my friends want to know why I haven't even got a tv aerial plugged in. This must be answer enough

      merven.halo - 2012-09-17 08:40

      I haven't watch tv the past 4 years, I don't know where people get time for sitting around and doing nothing.

      mikel.kiparski - 2012-09-17 09:34

      have not switched my tv on in the last 6 months,thought of canceling my tv licence then they announced we were getting settopboxes I AM NOT RENEWING MY tv LICENCE if they lied again about the settopbox i am sick and tired of their lies.DID U KNOW THAT IF U PERSONALLY DONT CANCEL YOUR tv LICENCE THEY CAN CHARGE YOU FOR IT UNTIL YOU DO AND CLAIM ALL ARREARS THEY CLAIM YOU OWE THEM... WHAT AWSOME LEGAL POWER THEY HAVE...

      fidel.mgoqi - 2012-09-17 10:02

      TV robs people of their free time, it dulls their mind, and it sends innumerable subliminal messages reinforcing the mythical quality of the "American way of life.

      merven.halo - 2012-09-17 12:26

      Talk about TV licenses. I've been paying mine for the past 4 years although I don't watch TV, how do you go about to cancel it?

  • zaks2217 - 2012-09-17 06:52

    Not that I'm in favour of such pathetic television, but this lady is not very original if she only knows how to use scripts. If she was truly an entertainer she would be able to comback at Noah or Richards. She lacks that cred.

  • deanmpeters - 2012-09-17 07:27

    Roasts are mean and vicious.. They test your ability to handle verbal bullying.. If you can't handle it.. then don't sign up.. Those who don't take themselves too seriously can smile through a barrage of insults.. But if you are to delicate, don't agree to be a part of it Kuli. You must have watched a roast before. Everybody is fair game. I personally cannot wait to watch it.

      Jo.Davies123 - 2012-09-18 08:42

      You are far to mature to be a News24 reader!

  • Notrax123 - 2012-09-17 07:55

    Wow Kuli, no originality, no thinking out of the box,knows no more than what is written on the script. Being blaze' about your limitations and riding on others make you a perfect subject for ambush and taking the fall for others. Did you not read the script about colourd women before you put your name to it? Makes me wonder who was writting your scripts for your columes. Yoh,joh, don't you know that what we do in life and how we do it is a script, the more important we view ourselves the more important the script? Adapt, compromise or be compromised.

  • brendan.vogt.1 - 2012-09-17 08:15

    Different story when the shoe is on the other foot, hey Kuli ??? Love to dish it, but can't take it ??

  • roodbol - 2012-09-17 08:20

    It's a pity... Noah was my favourite comedian. He should stick with jokes and roasts ABOVE the belt, or he will loose lots of die-hard fans, like Casper Rasper did. Usually when they don't know what to say, it's sexual stuff; it becomes a 'new' vocabulary - to test the waters - which ain't funny at all. Come on Tevor, you have lots more fun stuff to say!

  • lusanda.tshaka - 2012-09-17 08:40

    as they always say "if you cant stand the hit, get out of the kitchen", i dont even want to watch this show dont even know it for that matter

      frankflower - 2012-09-17 12:28

      I you can't take the 'heat'...

      ryan.heuvel.9 - 2012-09-17 14:29

      "hit" ha hah ha ha hah! ROFLMAO

      stella.vumazonke - 2012-09-17 22:24

      Is English still over rated?If I was afrikaans I would be concerned when a person speaks or writes his or her own language incorrect.

  • vernon.meakin - 2012-09-17 08:54

    This show must have been invented to make Idols look ok , it didnt work they are both rubbish and staged plus dedcided before hand.

  • tc.countee - 2012-09-17 09:21

    I for one am very excited to see the show. Celebs putting themselves up for scrutiny for entertainment for one is good fun, shows the ability to laugh at o0neself and take one as well. Good on Steve for allowing him to be ridiculed. For all those against it, WOW laugh much? The very notion that people find it not funny to make fun of any colourful characters we have in SA, are very much teh same people who complain but do nothing about it. Just live a little chaps, its a laugh, SA is too sensitive and glad these guys got over that stigma.. Next ROAST Julius Malema, Graeme Smith, Kuli Roberts(chuckle)..

  • defjukie - 2012-09-17 09:31

    Next roast a CC special.... Joost and Julius! The JJ special. That would be classic

  • melanie.pienaar.92 - 2012-09-17 09:33

    It's not like anyone is actually going to watch this rubbish!!!!

  • freddy.vandermerwe.7 - 2012-09-17 09:35

    cant wait to see it!

  • keikantseng.ruth - 2012-09-17 09:42

    How disgusting!...unbelievable!

  • bernard.geldenhuys2 - 2012-09-17 10:02

    Kuli, jy is 'n simpel SEOP!

  • alexandra.nett - 2012-09-17 10:02

    Oh please, los vir Steve uit......hy is ons nasionale voeel!

  • naas.prinsloo - 2012-09-17 10:12

    If you can't take it, don't dish it out. as simple as that

  • darren.peach - 2012-09-17 10:17

    One of the things that I find very silly and irritating is SA lacks originality. We copy everything from the likes of America and Britain and Aus. The Roast is a Amercian concept that has a fundamental factor working for it. Many of those that are roasted are B Grade Celebs. With the exception of Charlie Sheen, That is what lends the show its unique if vulgar charm. Sa doing its own version is sad and pathetic, Just like Idols, SA Has Talent and many other franchise televison shows we have copied or bought into. The only one that I feel is kinda up to Scratch is MasterChef SA. You can tell they put money into it. We have our own Identity and a show like Carte Blanche shows the potential we have for our own ground breaking shows yet the SA market is fed badly executed versions of popular overseas TV. Look at some of the cool and unique concpets BBC have created over the years, Dragons Den, Come Dine with Me, Undercover boss. Come on TV land, You can do way better. And with all due respect to those on the SA Roast, It just aint the same.

      sly.skipper - 2012-09-17 13:57

      @ Darren : Agreed. Was hoping people would buy into my 'So you think you can Strike' concept since its some what unique to RSA. Alas....didn't take off :)

      darren.peach - 2012-09-17 15:00

      Man, That would have been a great show. LOL :)

      stella.vumazonke - 2012-09-17 22:05

      @sly.skipper what a great idea,and woolworths as a major sponsor.

  • brad.barnes.9210 - 2012-09-17 10:27

    She didnt have breakfast that morning because she was looking forward to the 'Roast'.... she must have been hungry and peeved when she realised no food was being served.

      PrettyUsefulArt - 2012-09-18 05:04

      Bwahahaha! Classic.

  • shaunjwatson - 2012-09-17 10:39

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Looking forward to this one !

  • Greg - 2012-09-17 11:17

    That is how roasts work you stupid dumb wench. Maybe you should have done your research prior to trying to be a big deal and going onto the roast of Steve Hofmeyer.

  • michael.awood.313 - 2012-09-17 11:20

    Up you!!! Trevor Noah is the ou!!

  • rodger.payne.7 - 2012-09-17 11:21

    When will we see this on replay please

  • rodger.payne.7 - 2012-09-17 11:21

    same as the one before

  • celeste.hadlow - 2012-09-17 11:22

    Kuli, if you can dish it . . . . you should be able to take it!!

  • TheyTookMyNickLaZynEko - 2012-09-17 11:41

    some people's idea of 'humor' really stinks.

  • Natzi - 2012-09-17 12:02

    if you have watched the roast before on Comedy Central you will know that EVERYONE gets roasted not just the the person in the hot seat... silly silly... Trevor Noah is a freaking Comedy LEGEND!!

  • bernadette.francois.75 - 2012-09-17 12:25

    Whoo hoo. You go Shaleen!

  • lisa.staden - 2012-09-17 15:06

    There always has to be one!! OMW did she not get the brief!! if you are on the show you will get roasted even if you are not the main roastee! do your homework!!

  • henk63 - 2012-09-17 16:45

    I normally avoid local shows, but this pone I vow to avoid like the plague. It just seems like bad taste.

      stella.vumazonke - 2012-09-17 23:21

      No wonder they bring 'american shows' over.

  • penny.stone.589 - 2012-09-17 17:00

    You have got to be kidding. Thank the good Lord above that I can't afford TV. This goes beyond the pale. Sick. Very Sick!!

  • michael.moolman.7 - 2012-09-17 17:19

    Well this one's right off my radar.

  • hilda.lefophane - 2012-09-17 17:20

    She got what she deserved. What about her abuse to other celebrities on Mzansi Headlines. She got the taste of her own medicine.Do unto other what you want them to do for you. Nice one @ Trevoh Noah