IN A society where some women are unable to provide and support their husbands, let alone send them to school, gospel sensation, Khanyisa Nkantsu-Sabuka, lived up to the meaning of her name, which means light, when she paid for her husband, Frank Sabuka's, tuition a few months after they got married in 2000.
LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR HER HUSBAND
Khanyisa and her husband met in church. She says at the time, he was working as a medical technologist and after hearing that he had the desire to go back to school, she took it upon herself to make his dream come true. “He wanted to go back to school and study towards a BCom in Accounting, but did not have the funds. I saw how much it meant to him. So I told him that he could further his education if he wanted to. I wanted the best for him, so I paid for everything because he couldn't get a loan or bursary,” she says.
BEING JUDGED BY PEOPLE
Like anyone who tries to do anything good, Khanyisa was judged and questioned by people, especially her church members, who said she was crazy and called her out in public about her decision. “My colleagues in music thought I was insane and criticised my decision. They would even ask me about it every day. People, including church members, told me my husband would leave me after he finished his studies and that he is the one who is supposed to be providing for the family, not me,” says Khanyisa.
TRUST AND COMMITMENT
While her colleagues and church members bashed her decision to support her husband, Khanyisa's family and her husband’s family supported them. “Both families were supportive of our decision as they understood our goal. My husband went back to school full-time after I gave birth to our first born a few months after we got married,” says Khanyisa. She adds that if you and your husband have an understanding, then you should follow your hearts. “I did just that despite what people were saying. Like any human being, you have doubts and negative thoughts at times, but I had to trust in what my husband and I had. He was also committed because he came home every weekend,” she says.
HE IS NOW THE PROVIDER
Khanyisa and her husband, who now works as a chartered accountant, are now happy despite all the negative things people said to her. “What motivated me the most was the fact that he was passing at school. When he started working after he finished his studies and took over all the responsibilities in the home, I cried because I was filled with appreciation and love for him. All the things people said would happen never did. He is a great husband and father to our four kids.” The gospel singer does not advise people who are not married to do what she did. “The reason I cannot support people who are not married to do what I did for my husband is because a man can easily disappear when they are not committed. Rather have him commit to you first. If he leaves you, families will at least be able to intervene. You should develop yourself first then motivate your partner to do the same,” she says.
