We’ve seen Orlando Bloom’s penis, now what?

Cape Town – On Wednesday night something set off social media. Suddenly there was a buzz on Twitter.

One name was quickly very popular on the microblogging service. However there was nothing micro about the trending topic that quickly popped up. #OrlandoBloom

Why was the hunky Hollywood star suddenly on everyone’s radar? An article published by New York Daily News had a triggered a feeding frenzy: "Orlando Bloom nude on vacation with Katy Perry - EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS."

Nude photos of Orlando Bloom had surfaced. Only the tabloid had decided to cover up Bloom’s manhood with a huge black block - teasing its readers with the promise of seeing Bloom’s penis but never really giving them the full frontal view.

According to the New York Daily News the full frontal pics would be going one step too far. All of a sudden they took a moral stand. They’re okay with stalking celebrities and sharing nude pics of them but they simply won’t show you the full phallic form. (The photos can't be published here due to copyright laws)

The Twitter detectives quickly got on the job and by Thursday night you could see Orlando Bloom’s penis in its full glory by simply typing his name into the social media site’s search bar. What it lacked in girth it made up for in length and to most people’s surprise, Mr. Bloom was uncut.

The victory of seeing Bloom’s tool was celebrated with memes, GIFs and quirky tweets. Had it been paparazzi snaps of Katy Perry’s breasts we might have seen a different conversation play off on the internet. But that’s a whole different debate.

The elusive creature

Seeing penis causes a lot of buzz on social media. But why? It might have something to do with the fact that, as opposed to female nudity, we hardly ever get to see full frontal male nudity on the big or small screen. It’s been a taboo for ages. For some reason we’re okay with seeing females nude on the screen but male nudity brings in a flurry of complaints.

Just last year a full frontal penis scene on the American TV show, The Affair, caused uproar on local TV.

While breasts abound on racy television with a lot of female nudity on display in shows from HBO, Showtime and Starz productions, the male penis prominently displayed in television drama has remained the more elusive creature.

After M-Net (DStv 101) and M-Net Edge showed South African viewers penises in Shameless, Outlander and in Looking, the South African pay-TV broadcaster did it again last year at 01:00 for the second season premiere of The Affair in which Helen (Maura Tierney) stares at the new penis in her bed.

The penis depiction instantly led to a flurry of reports in the media. A penis body double was used as a stand-in for actor Josh Stamberg as his character Max stands naked in front of Helen and shows his goods.

What's the BIG deal?

Orlando’s nude snaps were taken in a public space in Sardinia, Italy and it therefore means that he knew there was a chance he would be snapped in his birthday suit. Maybe he just really doesn’t care who sees his penis or, in a moment of relaxation, didn’t think that his manhood would make front page news.

Last year Justin Bieber's penis also made headlines after the paparazzi snapped him naked on his balcony. Biebs cried invasion of privacy and wasn't happy about the leaked images. But the snaps hardly did anything to his career. The hype was soon forgotten and the world continued to turn around its axis.

The final question remains: We’ve seen Orlando Bloom’s penis, now what? Well, actually nothing. It’s a penis. Something every man has dangling between his legs. The paparazzi snapped it, you could see it (only if you wanted to) and by Friday morning the internet had already found something new to talk about. Being nude is as natural as taking a breath of air.

Let’s hope Orlando doesn’t get shy and starts covering up. You be you boo. If you like stripping down for a fun day in the sun - enjoy! There’s really nothing to hide. We’re all adults here. 

(Photos: Getty Images)