Howard Feldman | The untruths of a hiker

A "moderate" hike on the Robberg Peninsula had Howard Feldman gasping for air and pondering the meaning of the life and why hikers are liars.

Hikers are liars. Much like their dishonest "runner" cousins, they speak untruths as though they are quoting biblical sources. And whereas I know that this is the season to spread love and kindness, I need to expose them for what they are: two-faced liars whose goal is to suck others into their depraved world of hiking. 

They told me it was easy. It was "moderate" and that their little daughter was coming with, and she would be fine. They also told me that it was worth waking up at 05:30 on holiday, to be liberal with the suntan cream and to bring lots of water.