Publications
Partners
The recent Sexpos in the major cities (sorry, Bloemfontein) may be perceived by the prudish as a sure sign that the country’s morality is going to hell in a handbasket, but it seems there are more than enough citizens who are quite happy to just lie back and enjoy the ride.
And a good thing too. Sure, being open about sex is important for the sake of self awareness, communication and education, but this pales into insignificance when you realize how unutterably boring prudish people still are. And stupid. Remember, the people who now oppose givens like gay marriage, the right to abortion and the legality of pornography are the same fools who kept bottle stores and cinemas closed on Sundays, gambling illegal and Nelson Mandela in jail. Fact: a person who opposes stem cell research today is equivalent to a zealot who would have stoned you to death for adultery a few centuries ago. They’re a backward lot, and it’s best for everyone that most of them have learnt to just stay at home and shut their dumb mouths while the world moves on without them.
Meanwhile, the rest of us can enjoy the fruits of our social liberation, and go to the cinema to watch movies about sex, while drunk, on Sundays. Or you can go to the casino while wearing anal beads to discuss your abortion with your same-sex communist partner. You know, whatever floats your boat.
Me? I went to the Sexpo on Mother’s Day with a militant feminist dyke, where I drank lots of beer and entertained barely clothed strippers with filthy jokes. Yes, I know. It’s the way I roll. But honestly, the Sexpo wasn’t nearly as shocking as the idiots in the ACDP would have you believe, and it offered little more than what you can already see in a totally free browse through your local sex shop. Most of the exhibitors specialised in either sex aids, porn, or sex aids and porn, and it was pretty obvious which catered for whom. When it comes to sex toys, women are arguably over-catered for. Disturbingly so. Guys, after some empirical research, I can confidently report that our penises are officially obsolete. You heard it here first.
When it comes to shagtastic sex aids, men have a depressingly limited choice, and unlike girl-toys, what’s out there is nothing to be proud of. You have to be slightly troubled to get turned on by a gaping, disembodied latex vagina, and I’m sure if I were ever desperate enough to make use of one, I’d break down into tears of despair and self loathing mere minutes after orgasm.
Every industry reflects society’s attitude to itself, and the sex industry is no exception. Originating from a seedy, forbidden underground, strip joints, porn and sex shops have gone mainstream. But this isn’t necessarily a good thing. By going corporate, the sex business has lost its freak factor. It’s no longer as perverse as it was because in a conservative world, even hardcore porn can start to look shopping-mall friendly. And though at least now it’s available, porn leaves a lot of us feeling a lot more liberal than we actually are, and this makes us stop opening our minds when we still have a lot of thinking to do. Case and point, here’s a little anecdote:
A few years ago a team from Private Films, Europe’s biggest porn producer, came to South Africa to make a few movies. Their aim was to use local actors, but they couldn’t find a single person who could meet their requirements. Now, just in case you’ve never seen a Private movie before, men are expected to be Chippendale-buff and have unbelievable crotch control, and women are required to be toned, hot, and – well, there’s no delicate way to say this – be able to take on a multitude of penises simultaneously without letting their smile slip.
But after a few weeks of searching the director concluded that South African men couldn’t shag to save their lives (he said as much in a newspaper interview), and that women here were either too prudish or too skanky. He eventually gave up and brought in actors from Europe – which is why the Private movie set in South Africa is, bizarrely, all in French.
Isn’t this is a sad indictment of our country? There are over 40 million of us, and we’ve not produced a single decent porn star! It’s shameful. And maybe I’m being a starry-eyed optimist, but I firmly believe we are so much better than that.
We think we’ve reached a destination with our sexual liberation, but truthfully, we’ve only just arrived at the starting line. And perhaps all it will take is a teenager with a webcam, a dollop of cherry-flavoured, water based lubricant and a banana to fire the starting gun that will truly set us free.
- Chris McEvoy
And a good thing too. Sure, being open about sex is important for the sake of self awareness, communication and education, but this pales into insignificance when you realize how unutterably boring prudish people still are. And stupid. Remember, the people who now oppose givens like gay marriage, the right to abortion and the legality of pornography are the same fools who kept bottle stores and cinemas closed on Sundays, gambling illegal and Nelson Mandela in jail. Fact: a person who opposes stem cell research today is equivalent to a zealot who would have stoned you to death for adultery a few centuries ago. They’re a backward lot, and it’s best for everyone that most of them have learnt to just stay at home and shut their dumb mouths while the world moves on without them.
Meanwhile, the rest of us can enjoy the fruits of our social liberation, and go to the cinema to watch movies about sex, while drunk, on Sundays. Or you can go to the casino while wearing anal beads to discuss your abortion with your same-sex communist partner. You know, whatever floats your boat.
Me? I went to the Sexpo on Mother’s Day with a militant feminist dyke, where I drank lots of beer and entertained barely clothed strippers with filthy jokes. Yes, I know. It’s the way I roll. But honestly, the Sexpo wasn’t nearly as shocking as the idiots in the ACDP would have you believe, and it offered little more than what you can already see in a totally free browse through your local sex shop. Most of the exhibitors specialised in either sex aids, porn, or sex aids and porn, and it was pretty obvious which catered for whom. When it comes to sex toys, women are arguably over-catered for. Disturbingly so. Guys, after some empirical research, I can confidently report that our penises are officially obsolete. You heard it here first.
When it comes to shagtastic sex aids, men have a depressingly limited choice, and unlike girl-toys, what’s out there is nothing to be proud of. You have to be slightly troubled to get turned on by a gaping, disembodied latex vagina, and I’m sure if I were ever desperate enough to make use of one, I’d break down into tears of despair and self loathing mere minutes after orgasm.
Every industry reflects society’s attitude to itself, and the sex industry is no exception. Originating from a seedy, forbidden underground, strip joints, porn and sex shops have gone mainstream. But this isn’t necessarily a good thing. By going corporate, the sex business has lost its freak factor. It’s no longer as perverse as it was because in a conservative world, even hardcore porn can start to look shopping-mall friendly. And though at least now it’s available, porn leaves a lot of us feeling a lot more liberal than we actually are, and this makes us stop opening our minds when we still have a lot of thinking to do. Case and point, here’s a little anecdote:
A few years ago a team from Private Films, Europe’s biggest porn producer, came to South Africa to make a few movies. Their aim was to use local actors, but they couldn’t find a single person who could meet their requirements. Now, just in case you’ve never seen a Private movie before, men are expected to be Chippendale-buff and have unbelievable crotch control, and women are required to be toned, hot, and – well, there’s no delicate way to say this – be able to take on a multitude of penises simultaneously without letting their smile slip.
But after a few weeks of searching the director concluded that South African men couldn’t shag to save their lives (he said as much in a newspaper interview), and that women here were either too prudish or too skanky. He eventually gave up and brought in actors from Europe – which is why the Private movie set in South Africa is, bizarrely, all in French.
Isn’t this is a sad indictment of our country? There are over 40 million of us, and we’ve not produced a single decent porn star! It’s shameful. And maybe I’m being a starry-eyed optimist, but I firmly believe we are so much better than that.
We think we’ve reached a destination with our sexual liberation, but truthfully, we’ve only just arrived at the starting line. And perhaps all it will take is a teenager with a webcam, a dollop of cherry-flavoured, water based lubricant and a banana to fire the starting gun that will truly set us free.
- Chris McEvoy
